


Is this a lasting treasure? Or just a moment’s pleasure?

by Amfelia



Category: SKAM (Norway), SKAM (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Coming Out, M/M, One Night Stands, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Pining, Tags May Change
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-17
Updated: 2018-02-23
Packaged: 2019-03-06 03:51:31
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 19
Words: 25,110
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13402875
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Amfelia/pseuds/Amfelia
Summary: Isak hooks up with a stranger at a party, but runs away before he learns their name or gets a number. He is not out yet, and is nervous about anyone finding out.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Uncover Me](https://archiveofourown.org/works/13193931) by [Maugurt](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Maugurt/pseuds/Maugurt). 



> This fic is inspired by another fic I read this Christmas. My mind took the idea in a completely different direction, because that's what my mind tends to do. 
> 
> I will be updating this a bit sporadically because I am busy at work at the moment, with it being January and I recently got promoted, so yeah, a lot to do and a lot to learn. But I'll do my best to not let it take too long between chapters.

Isak is dreading going to school this Monday. He had spent the most of the weekend holed up in his room, trying to avoid his friends at all cost. Because he knows that they have questions, questions he has no intention of ever answering truthfully. 

It had been one heck of a party on Friday. It was some first year, Lea, Thea or something, who had decided to host it, and he guessed the invitation had spread far outside of the group of people from Nissen who normally attend these parties, he had never seen at least half of the people there and he doubts that they were even from his school. 

And there lies the problem and the reason he has been avoiding most of Oslo this past weekend. Even Eskild, or especially Eskild, had gotten a cold (no, lets be honest, freezing) shoulder. Isak’s phone had run out of battery some time between Saturday and Sunday, and he hadn’t even bothered to charge it until late Sunday night, when he had to turn it on to set the alarm. 

Normally after a hook up at a party their group chat would always be busy all through the weekend, discussing and dissecting every single detail for most of them. The guys have gotten used to Isak always saying that he will neither confirm nor deny anything that has happened, but clearly hinting something might have happened. From an outside perspective it might seem like a gentleman thing to do, but mostly it is because usually there is nothing to confirm and a lot to deny, and this way he can keep his reputation as a straight fuckboy amongst his friends. 

But after the party on Friday things have changed, in more ways than he likes to admit, and he has a lot to confirm and a heck of a lot to deny. Thank god nobody had really seen what had happened, the hook up had happened inside a room where they had entered and left individually, but when he left, he briefly ran into the boys before running out of there and all the way home, it had been impossible to hide what had happened. He had “just gotten laid” written all over him, from the way his lips looked to his disheveled clothes. And as luck would have it, he of course ran into Emma on his way out of the room as well. Emma, the largest gossip girl in all of first year and also the girl who have been chasing him for the past two months. She was, to put it lightly, not amused. Actually, she had looked at him like he was the most despicable person on the planet, and had turned on her heel with a “thanks a lot for ruining my night”. That was when he had come to his senses and left faster than you could say “fucking fuck”. Which basically was what he had said to himself the whole way home. 

So, needless to say, he is extremely nervous entering the school, and has put it off until he can’t anymore, unless he wants to be late for first class, which he doesn’t, because regardless of his fuckboy attitude, Isak actually cares a lot about school and grades. Entering the courtyard he feels he has everyones eyes at him, and he counts death stares from at lest fifteen girls from first year. So yeah, guess Emma has spread the word about his hook up. He hopes the glares are just because it hadn’t been with her, and not because of the person he had actually hooked up with. A person he had not been able to forget and that he has been thinking of non stop ever since. A person with the nicest eyes and softest lips, who kissed him like he didn’t think it was possible to kiss and who had given him the best blow job known to man. No way he would be able to forget that for a really long time. 

After surviving the firing squad outside he is grateful that the first class of the day is physics, the only person he knows in that class is Sana and she just shoots him a stare as to ask what on earth he has done now and then continues to focus on the class, and he copies her and actually manages to mostly focus on the teacher. Usually Monday is on top of his list of “most stressful days of the week" but today he welcomes the busy day, as it turnes out he doesn’t even have time to see the guys until lunch. Mahdi and Magnus is in a deep discussion about something that has happened over the weekend, and hardly notices him coming. Jonas just throws him a careful look, as if he is trying to ask him if everything is ok, without actually asking him. Isak just shrugs, as to say that he is all right, when Magnus finally notices him. 

“Hey, man, you OK? Where were you yesterday?” Magnus voice practically bounces all over the cafeteria and Isak looks at him, willing him to lower his voice and enthusiasm with a stare. 

“Yeah, why haven’t we heard from you since Friday?” Mahdi says in a much quieter voice. 

“I’m okay. I just was so hung over on Saturday that I forgot to put my phone on charge, and yesterday I was busy with family stuff. Sorry.” Isak crosses his fingers, hoping his friends will buy his sorry excuse. 

No such luck, it sure is Monday today. Magnus calls bullshit. “Forgot to charge your phone? Who even does that, are you kidding us now?” 

“Well, it happened, ok?” Isak dismisses him just like that, hoping to see the end of the inquisition. And for some reason it works. 

“Well, anyway, we were talking about Friday. Did you hear that Mahdi finally hooked up with that third year?” Magnus is bouncing with excitement. 

Isak thanks his lucky star that Magnus has the shortest attention span in history, and turns his attention towards Mahdi. “Did you? Cool! Congrats. Are you going to see her again?” 

“I think so, she gave me her number, and I think I am going to send her a text today.” Mahdi is all smiles. 

Before they can take it any further, bouncing Magnus is back. “But wait, what about you. I heard you banged someone at the party. Is it true?” The aforementioned short attention span just got back and bit him in the ass. Great. Fan-bloody-tastic. 

“You know me, Magnus, I never kiss and tell.” Isak says with a smirk, and Jonas, the best friend that he has always been notices Isak’s discomfort and manages to turn the conversation over to Magnus’ failed hook up and plans for the week and Isak allows himself to tune them out, shifting his focus to his lunch.

Suddenly he hears a laughter coming from across the room, and it feels like his blood freezes in his veins. He knows that laughter. That laughter has haunted him ever since Friday. And when he looks up, sure enough, there he is. The guy from that night. The guy with the bluest eyes and softest lips. This Monday just turned from bad to worse. Or did it?


	2. Chapter 2

Isak freezes, hoping nobody notices the sudden change in his behavior. He is sure shock must be written all over his face, and it annoys him that the other guy is completely calm, and only nods at Isak before he looks away. Luckily for Isak, the bell rings, and never has saved by the bell been more accurate. He all but flees the cafeteria and stays below the radar for the rest of the day. Avoiding common areas at all cost. He even hides in the boys bathroom in one of the breaks, just to get some time to breath and not freak out too much, and he doesn’t get out of there before he is forced to go to the next class, keeping his head down, afraid to look up in case he sees someone he’s not ready to face. 

For the rest of the afternoon there is only one thought going through his head. How the freaking fuck had he not known that guy went to his school? How in the world could he have not seen that guy before? Even if he is a first year, and Isak is willing to bet good money that he isn’t, after two months Isak would have recognized him already. And if he is not a first year, he must be second or third, which means they have gone to the same school for almost one and a half year, without Isak seeing him. Not possible. Not even close to being possible.

When he gets home his mind is going in circles, and he is desperately trying to come up with ways to get out of this with his pride intact. And the impact of his actions hits him with full force. Just his luck that the one time he does something stupid while drunk he ends up doing it with a guy from his own damned school. What are the odds? Actually, it was after all a Nissen party, the odds weren’t on his side, but that is something he chooses to ignore for now. Because, really? The world is so not on his side. Not now. Not for a long time. 

The next few days flies by in a hurry. Turns out it can be quite busy avoiding angry gossip girls, handsome strangers and curious friends, and by Friday Isak is exhausted. Not only is the work load picking up, teachers all of a sudden aware that more than half the semester is gone, thus the need to throw tests at the students to have something to give half term grades by.

But one particular handsome stranger keeps showing up everywhere, and he keeps giving Isak these looks. Curious looks. Hurt looks. “Are you going to acknowledge me anytime soon” looks. Angry looks. The more days pass by the more of the latter type of looks he gets, and by the end of the week the guy is shooting daggers at Isak, and he can no longer pretend nothing is up, the guys have noticed as well. 

And while Jonas and Mahdi might be discreet about it, discreet is not a concept Magnus is particularly familiar with. “Dude, what is up with you and that guy? He looks at you like you killed his dog or something.”

“What? Me, kill a dog? Never, I love animals.” Isak chooses the strategy of deflection, one he has practiced and perfected for several years. But Magnus knows his strategy and calls him on it. 

“Cut the crap, you know what I am talking about. What is up with you and that third year?” 

Isak sighs, knowing there is no way out of this unfortunate mess. 

“Seriously Magnus, I really don’t know, I don’t know him, I didn’t even know he was a third year, I hadn’t seen him here until last week.” It is so close to the truth that it can’t even be classified as a lie, not really, just bending the truth a tiny little bit. It wasn’t like they talked the last time they met, and to know someone you should at least have spoken more than three words to the other person, right? And the words fuck, god and more doesn’t count. Not really. 

“Well, he sure as hell looks like he knows you, and he really doesn’t like you very much, I think.” The other boys agree with Magnus, and Isak just shrugs and tries to let it slide. It is no wonder the guy is pissed, Isak would probably have been pissed if the roles were reversed. If he had been the one down on his knees giving some stranger a blow job at a stupid high school party. Like that would ever happen, his inner self just laughs at the idea. 

He might have been able to fool Mahdi and Magnus, but there is no fooling Jonas, but for some strange reason Jonas pulls back and lets it be, and Isak couldn’t be more grateful. He just isn’t ready. 

The guys move the conversation towards the weekend. Apparently some of the third years are planning this huge party to raise money for Russ, and Magnus and Jonas really want to go. Isak is so exhausted he feels he can hardly think straight, and is nowhere near ready to partying, he is tired and just wants to spend the night in bed, numbing his brain with some stupid show on Netflix. If his brain wasn’t so occupied with himself and a certain boy he would have noticed the worried looks between Mahdi and Jonas and the wonder that they let him off the hook just like that. Instead he drags his feet home and buries his head in his pillow and grown so loud that Eskild pops his head through the door wondering what’s up. 

His mind goes back to the party, memory a little fuzzy on the details because he’d had a lot to drink. He remembers going in to the room to get a break from the party, a thing he sometimes do when it gets too loud, too crowded. Emma had been circling around him, trying to get his attention, and hiding in a room was an easy out. What he hadn’t counted on was someone being in there already or did he enter afterwards? He isn’t actually sure about that particular detail. But what he does remember is the intense feeling he got when they had started kissing. It was like nothing he had ever experienced before. He had kissed his share of girls, had his share of drunken hook ups, he’d even had a girlfriend last year for a few weeks. But this, this was new. And it was with a boy. A boy who just happens to show up at his school the following Monday. And that gives him butterflies in his stomach and wasps in his mind.

The rest of the weekend is spend keeping busy and away from everything school related (including Jonas), cleaning the apartment with Eskild who claims he has had enough of stinky teenagers, doing laundry and taking stupid “how do you know if you are gay”-test on the internet. According to the tests he is not gay, not even the slightest bit. According to the feelings he gets in his gut when he thinks of a certain third year he most definitely is.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rumors are still going crazy at school and Isak receives some much needed advice from his best friends.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have struggled with this chapter. Parts of it was originally meant to be chapter two, but then I changed my mind and wrote a different chapter two. That lead to me having to rewrite this one to fit the storyline, and then it turned out Isak just didn’t want to cooperate with me and the story. Part of me is proud of him and part of me thinks he is a coward, and I am not quite happy with it. 
> 
> But I am tired of writing and rewriting, so I guess I’ll just post and move on to writing chapter four. Hopefully Isak will be a bit more brave there.

The following week does not fare any better on Isak’s nerves than last and to add insult to injury his sleep goes right out the window. Insomnia has been his enemy on and off for years, and as his stress levels rises the number of hours of sleep at night plummets. It doesn’t help that the rumor mill at school is not even close to slowing down, courtesy of Emma and her crew. 

Isak has lost count of how many different versions of the story he has heard, they range anywhere from Isak hooking up with that guys girlfriend or his sister, his girlfriend and his sister, Isak hooking up with the girl the guy was into but not with, to Isak not wanting to hook up with his sister or Isak spilling beer all over him at some party (the latter not totally unrealistic, Isak is not a graceful drunk). But surprisingly none of them has anything to do with the actual truth, or about Isak perhaps being a little gay. He could probably thank his hard earned reputation as a fuckboy for that, he knew it would come in handy sooner or later. 

And while last week flew by in a hurry, this week drags on like molasses in January, and he feels like a zombie, hardly able to pay attention in class. During lunch breaks he tries his best to pay attention to what his friends are saying, but it is hard when he is constantly trying to keep away from annoying first years and good looking third years, all while coming up with clever retorts to the banter, but to say he is successful would be a lie. 

Jonas knows something is up, and has carefully tried to shield him from the mess in his head by talking about anything and everything except for why Isak is so stressed. Fridays have always been Isak’s and Jonas’ “lets get food after school”-day, and even though Isak tries to get out of it this Friday with some half assed excuse that Eskild needs him, he finds himself at a McDonalds, sharing a meal of burgers and fries and getting the third degree from Jonas. 

“So, ready to spill?” Jonas grabs some fries and just stares at Isak.

Isak takes a deep breath, trying to calm his nerves. He knows he should tell. He wants to tell. Needs to tell. But it is so hard to tell. Because this secret is not new. This secret has been kept from his best friend for years, it just took a strange turn last weekend. He takes a large breath and takes a leap of faith. “Remember the party last week. At that first year?” 

Jonas nods, but doesn’t say anything, just hums. 

Isak holds his breath, silently counts to ten before speaking. “I kinda hooked up with someone.”

“Yeah, figured that much. And I’m guessing by Emma’s sour face, and the rumors she spread this week, it wasn’t her. Am I right?”

“Yeah, no it wasn’t Emma. But she caught me getting out of the room afterwards. She was so pissed.” Isak winces at the thought. 

Jonas just laughs. “Well, she had it coming, you would think that after two months she would have taken the hint, right?”

Isak just nods, you would think that, but apparently he had been sending out mixed signals, or so he had been told. Repeatedly. Last time today, via text message. He is starting to like pissed off Emma just as little as clingy Emma. 

“So, going to tell me who it was? Please don’t tell me you hooked up with someones girlfriend? Is that why you are acting so shady?” Jonas steals another fry, not giving up on getting some answers from Isak. 

“No, not someone’s girlfriend.” Isak keeps his answer short and hopefully sweet. 

“You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to, you know that right?” Jonas has always been his greatest supporter, even when he knows his friend is deliberately hiding things from him. He knows that Isak will tell when he is ready. He always has. 

“Well, you could try to guess…” Isak’s words are barely audible, but they are there. Words that give Jonas hope that he actually is ready to open up. When he looks at Isak the latter is not looking back, he is busy having a staring contest with his soda. 

“Guess? That’s kinda hard… It’s not Emma. Or one of her friends, because then the whole school would have known by now.” Jonas’ voice trails off, like he doesn’t know how to continue this guessing game. 

“No, it’s not Emma. Or one of her friends.” Isak finally finds the courage to tell it straight up. “You know the new third year? The one that has been staring at me?”

“Yeah, duh. The whole school knows who he is. He’s the famous transfer student from Bakka. What about him?” 

Isak can’t seem to find the right words, and even though Jonas wants to scream or drag the words out of him, he stays quiet, waiting it out. He is used to it, he has done this time and time again during the ten years they have been friends. 

Isak swallows nervously. “I kinda hooked up with him, and then ran away from there, leaving him alone in the room.”

Jonas doesn’t say anything at first, taking his time thinking about what to say. 

“Why did you do that?”, he finally settles on. 

Isak looks at him confused and sort of hurt. He knew it was a bad idea to tell Jonas. His worst fears have just been confirmed. “What kind of question is that? Why I hooked up with him, you mean?” 

“No, why did you leave him? He is seriously hot, wanted to hook up with you, and you just left? Smart move, Isak. Really smart move.” Isak can’t believe it, he tells Jonas that he hooked up with a guy and the only thing he reacts to is him running away afterwards? What planet is this, anyway? 

However, Isak doesn’t know how to answer, because he really doesn’t have an answer. 

“I freaked out, ok? He is a guy. I hooked up with a guy. I have never done anything like that before.”

“Yeah, I know that. But do you like him?” Jonas has the ability to hone in on the most important part, the most difficult thing to answer. It annoys Isak to great lengths at the same time as he knows it is the only question that matters. 

“I don’t know. I don’t even know him. We hardly spoke two words before… you know…”

“Then maybe you should start there, then. Get to know him.” 

Isak knows Jonas has a point, but it seems so much easier said than done. He doesn’t even have the guys number, and walking up to him at school? Yeah, not a likely scenario. The guy is pissed off, and he’s a boy, and the only places Isak has seen him in school and doing something like that would only feed the rumor mill to an extent he can’t even begin to imagine. He settles for #ignore for now, hoping that somehow things will get better next week. Isak is good at #ignore.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Last chapter without Even in it, I promise, I'm almost halfway through it, it'll probably be up tomorrow or Friday.

The weekend was surprisingly good. He had skipped out on a supposedly big party that Saturday and had instead hung out with Jonas at his place, playing Fifa, talking about everything and nothing. He had forgotten how good it was to spend time with his best friend, since everything went south last year with Jonas and Eva there had been this void between them. Now he realizes that this void had probably been as much about him than about Jonas. Now that the elephant in the room has been addressed, things are considerably easier between them. And it astounds him how little significance that part of him plays when they hang out and talk. It’s actually just like old days. 

And to make his life even better, he actually managed to sleep a little better at night after he had told Jonas. He has absolutely no intentions of telling anybody else, it is enough that one person knows, he is so not ready to let more people know about the kinda-little-bit-gay-thing.

When the weekend is over, rumors at school seem to have shifted to something or someone else. Apparently a bunch of third years got into a fight with third years from another school at a party, and the whole school is buzzing with gossip when he gets there. Timing could not have been better for Isak, and he thanks his lucky star for the break. Maybe now he can have a normal week, concentrating on classes and goofing around with his friends? Is that really too much to hope for?

As always on Mondays he is fashionably late coming to school, and the guys are already in the school yard when he arrives, he finds them at their usual spot on the other side of the yard from the entrance. Magnus spots him and the first thing he does is ask him if he heard the new rumor floating around and Isak just assumes that it is about the fight.

“The fight? The whole school and their mother have probably heard about that, Magnus.” Isak can’t help but wonder sometimes how it is possible to be so smart and so not smart at the same time. He really likes Magnus, and most of the time he loves the enthusiasm he shows for just about anything, but not on a Monday morning. Never on a Monday morning, like seriously. And as it turns out, today is not Isak’s lucky day, and he realizes this as soon as he spots both Magnus and Mahdi roll their eyes, like Isak is saying the most ridiculous thing. 

“No, not the fight. Of course you’ve heard about that,” Magnus continues with the same level of enthusiasm, oblivious to Isak’s discomfort. “I am talking about the rumor that the third year dude is out to get you because you hooked up with his girlfriend. Sara told Eva who told Vilde who told me that he asked for your number, and why would he do that, you don’t even know him?” 

Isak looks to Jonas, pleading with his eyes for help, but before Jonas has time to intervene, Magnus is at it again.

“Someone told me he is planning to fight you, or something. That is why he has been sending you these death stares the last two weeks.”

Isak doesn’t know how to answer that, Jonas just shrugs and gives him a look that just says “tell them”. 

He considers it for a second or fifty, not quite sure how to do this. Is there a proper way to do this, to wander out of the comfortable closet? If it was, he sure as hell didn’t get the right instruction manual of how to do this, endless coming out-movies on YouTube gave him no clues. So instead he ends up jumping out, hopefully landing safely on both feet. 

“I didn’t hook up with his girlfriend, Magnus,” he sighs. “I hooked up with him. The part about wanting to fight me might be correct, though.”

All of a sudden it’s so quiet you could hear a pin drop. Isak looks at his friends, trying to gauge their reaction, afraid they might freak out. God, what if they freak out? What will he do then? He knows Jonas is on his side, but it can still be quite lonely with only one friend left. 

“Wait, what? You did what?” Magnus is the fastest to bounce back from the shock. As always. 

“I. Hooked. Up. With. Him.” Isak pronounces every word like it’s a sentence, hoping that this somehow will help Magnus understand. Or at least not yell so loud, any louder and the entire school would know. 

“But I don’t understand,” Magnus looks at him with the most confused face he has ever had, and in regard to Magnus that actually says a lot. “Why would that make him want to fight you?”

Isak almost wants to laugh. This is what’s confusing? Not him hooking up with the guy, but the fighting? “I don’t know, maybe because I ran out of there faster than Cinderella after the ball? And that I have been avoiding him for the last two weeks, pretending nothing happened?”

By now Isak can see the confusion spreading wider and wider on Magnus’ face, and internally counts down in his head. Three. Two. One. Go.

“But, wait, does this mean you are gay?” And there it is. The question he has been dreading for weeks. The question he has been asking himself for much longer than that. The question that has only one answer. But he just can’t make himself answer truthfully, so he just halfway nods. And thank fuck they are the only ones left in the school yard, because Magnus was not quiet when he asked that last question. 

The enplaning outing has made them totally forget school and classes and they realize the school yard is empty and the bell must have rung already. They scramble to get to class before the teachers notice, Isak failing miserably and getting an earful first from his teacher and then from Sana. 

He finds it really hard to pay attention in any of classes that day, even the interesting ones, for all he can concentrate on is the fact that the guy probably has his phone number, and Isak doesn’t even know his name. He is just that fucked, he thinks. Just his luck.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “What the fuck?” He practically yells, so taken by surprise that he is literally ready to jump whoever pulled him in there. 
> 
> “Oh, he speaks now.” A dark voice, which he instantly recognizes, comes from behind him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As promised, Even makes an appearance in this chapter, at last. I hope you like it. It is a bit longer than the previous chapters, seems like I had a lot to say in this one.

On his way home he tries to come up with every possible way to get out of this mess. His first thought is to just change the number, before he realizes it will be way to difficult to explain that to his father, who is the one paying the bill and therefore sort of owns the number. 

His next brilliant idea is to not pick up whenever an unknown number calls. But then again, his wonderful father has for some stupid, stupid reason not blocked his number from coming up in searches, so if the guy puts the number in one of those online search engines, he will find that the personen behind the number is indeed Isak. Lovely, juuuust lovely. That plan went down the drain faster than he managed to come up with it. Same problem if the guy texts him instead. So his only two choices are to either avoid him, and piss him off even more, or he can answer, and make a fool out of himself. Not exactly a win-win situation. 

What he didn’t prepare for is the guy actually not using the number he presumably got. Which is of course what happens, resulting in Isak almost going crazy every time there is a notification on his phone, which happens more than he would have guessed had you asked him before this whole thing started. 

By Thursday he is going quietly mad, because all his phone has given him all week is incoherent messages from his mom, questions from his dad wanting to see him and the group chat with the boys asking him if he has heard anything every fucking thirty minutes. Mostly Magnus, but surprisingly enough Jonas also. It doesn’t help that drop dead gorgeous man has been doing a pretty good job of ignoring Isak, a much better job than Isak had been doing ignoring drop dead gorgeous man last week. No more angry looks, no more stalking him in the cafeteria, come to think of it Isak has hardly seen him that week. Which would have been a good thing last week, this week it just adds to the dreading feeling of regret. 

Friday the boys drag him out to a new party, apparently for him to be Magnus’ wing man or something. Like a wing man would help Magnus in any way, but he keeps that to himself. He is rather quiet at the pre game and drinks considerably less then he normally does, afraid he’ll do something monumentally stupid if he gets too drunk. And sticking to tradition the boys are more than a little fashionably late to the actually party, loosing track of time at the pregame, discussing strategies for getting Magnus laid and what Isak should answer should drop dead gorgeous boy actually get in touch. Isak tries to convince the guys that 1) that is a totally hypothetical question and 2) he would rather he didn’t get in touch. They do not believe him on either of those two. Deep down he knows they are right and hates them for it. 

When they arrive at the party Isak looses them almost immediately. As usual. They never manage to stay together for long, especially when the party is as packed as this one. He finds Jonas in deep conversation with a first year, and by deep conversation he means with his tongue almost down the poor girls throat. Not that she seems to mind, though. 

Isak wanders around, trying to see if he can find someone to talk to, but quickly decides he is not nearly drunk enough to actually want to be there and is about to go to the kitchen to find something to fix that when someone suddenly drags him in to a room, closing the door behind them. 

“What the fuck?” He practically yells, so taken by surprise that he is literally ready to jump whoever pulled him in there. 

“Oh, he speaks now.” A dark voice, which he instantly recognizes, comes from behind him. 

He turns slowly, to face the person responsible for the mess he is in right now. 

“Great. It’s you.” Because, of course, it is him. That guy. Who else would do something like that. It is, after all, Isak Valtersen we are talking about. The guy who never seems to catch a break. Ever. 

“I think it is time we actually talk, don’t you think?” 

There are many things Isak would like to do right no, talking is not one of them. Like why would he? The guy must be pissed as fuck, and Isak would much rather just run away from this situation than actually face it. Again, it is Isak Valtersen we are talking about. 

“Talk? You want to talk? To me? Now?” As smooth as ever, he tells himself, hearing his own voice cracking, throwing him back to when he was 14 and puberty made speaking a nightmare for months. 

The guy just looks at him with a suggestive look. “Or is there something else you would rather do? You seemed to do pretty fine last time without talking, we could of course try that again, but then again I’m afraid you’ll run before I have the chance to get your number or even your name afterwords. I have been calling you Cinderella for the last two weeks, and but I don’t think that will work for me anymore.”

“Haha, very funny.” Isak is actually amused, the name being pretty darn fitting, but he tries to hide it. “Better than the nickname I gave you, though.” Which is another lie, Cinderella is way worse than Drop dead gorgeous, but he will never admit to that or to the nickname. 

“Oh, and what is that now?” the guy asks with a smirk on his face, and Isak wants nothing more than to wipe it off immediately. Or kiss it away. 

“Floppy.” He mentally pats himself on the back for coming up with that one that fast. 

“Floppy? Really? Don’t recall much flopping happening last time.”

Isak rolls his eyes at that. “Oh, god, really? It’s the hair, it’s got to do with your hair, stupid. Not… that.” He points his finger in the direction of Floppy’s dick. 

The guy laughs out loud at that, and runs his hand through his hair for good measure, he must know how sexy that is, he wouldn’t do it otherwise. Isak is ready to melt into the floor. 

“Puh, you had me fooled for a minute there. And it’s Even. My name is Even. Not Floppy. So you can totally forget that name. Like right now, that is not something I want anyone to know.”

“I will if you forget Cinderella. And it’s Isak. My name. It’s Isak.” Like repeating it twice makes him sound more certain or something. He gives himself a one out of ten for that one. 

“Now, Isak. Is there any chance you’ll give me your number before you run out of here like a kid afraid he’ll miss his curfew?” And really, who does this guy think he is? Isak is not a baby with a curfew. 

“I’ll have you know I don’t have a curfew. Haven’t had one for a long time.” And he realizes he sounds like a bratty little kid, not the grown up seventeen year old kid he is. “And why on earth would I give you my number, according to school gossip you are only going to use it so you can beat me up, or haven’t you heard?”

“I don’t listen to gossip. And neither should you. Give me your phone.” The guy has balls, Isak will give him that. But he is not ready to give in this easily, so he gives it one more shot. 

“First you want my number, now you want my phone? This just keeps getting better and better. What do you want next? The address to my flat?”

Even hands out his hand, intent on not giving up on the whole phone thing. “If you give me your phone I’ll give you my number, smartass. Since you are so reluctant to give me yours, I figured I’ll just give you mine and let the ball rest peacefully in your court. And do you really think I would want to hurt you? After what happened last time I would think my intentions were pretty clear, my bad if they weren’t.” He moves closer to Isak, so close that he can literally just reach out and touch those gorgeous lips if he wants to. He looks up and stares right in to Evens blue eyes, getting totally lost in them. Even pulls him out of it pretty quick. “So let me be absolutely clear about this. I think you are unbelievably hot and I want to get to know you. So, about that phone…?” He reaches out his hand again, eyes straight at Isak. 

And Isak, all he can do is stare back, dumbstruck and confused, and like in a trance he just pulls his phone out, unlocks it and hands it over, without a word. He stares at Even while he punches something into his phone before he hands it beck. 

“There, now at least you have my number. I really hope you’ll put it to good use.” 

And before Isak can gather his thoughts enough to reply, Even turns and steps out of the room, leaving behind a stunned Isak staring at his phone with a puzzled look. He stays like frozen for at least five more minutes before his brain connects with his feet and he leaves the room to find his friends to let them know he wants to go home. 

Jonas and Magnus are outside, because Magnus has had at least three beers too many, and is in no state to continue the party, which saves Isak from being the one to pull the plug on the party. It takes them forever and then some to get Magnus to Isak’s flat, deciding he is too drunk to go back to his parents. All the way home it is like Isak can feel Even’s number burning a hole in his pocket, and he is itching to take it out and either delete the number or text Even. It’s a toss up between the two.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> According to rumors you have a girlfriend. Was that before or after you know what happened?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Gotta love the weekends, I got a lot of writing done today. The complete storyline is finished, seems like this story will end up 13 or 14 chapters. And I have started writing the next two chapters.

Isak struggles for days trying to send Even a message. He hates this. Hates the ball being in his court. Every time he starts to write something he chickens out and deletes it again. For each day that passes it gets more and more difficult to do it, and somewhere he crossed the line from so early it seems desperate to so late it seems rude without even noticing it.

On Wednesday the weather is actually nice for being almost November in Oslo, and they decide to eat their lunch outside for once. Vilde and Eva come over to their bench when lunch is almost over, apparently Eva had something really important she wanted to ask Jonas, and while she pulls him aside Vilde starts yapping about the huge Russ party and how the first year girls tried to steal all the cute third years, and how unfair that was for some reason Isak fails to comprehend. Isak is wondering how she can be so oblivious to the fact that Magnus is head over heals in love with her, he is sitting there looking at her like she is hung from the moon. Actually, Isak wonders if Magnus knows that he is in love with Vilde. Those two could make a disturbingly cute couple if they only actually managed to talk to each other.

He suddenly realizes that he has blocked out half of what Vilde has been saying, but pays attention again when he hears her mention something about the new third year. “And then this first year tried to pick up that Even guy, you know the Bakka transfer, but he turned her down and she was so sad about it that she started crying and ran out of there.”

Isak desperately tries to look like he doesn’t care, and can’t for the life of him look at Mahdi og Magnus, so he just keeps looking at Vilde, who apparently has no intention to stop talking. “And then this other girl came over and said she shouldn’t take it personally, because after all he has a girlfriend. And of course he won’t hook up with anyone if he has a girlfriend, he seems like such a nice guy, you know?”

Isak can’t believe her, Even has a girlfriend! Since when? And if that is true, Vilde couldn’t be more wrong about Even being a nice guy. Nice guys don’t hook up with someone else at a party if they have a girlfriend.

Before he can think more of it he pulls out his phone, writes a message and pushes send, without even reading through what he wrote.

 

**Floppyboy**

According to rumors you have a girlfriend. Was that before or after you know what happened?

And here I was worried I had given you the wrong number.  
And I told you, you shouldn’t listen to rumors.

Even! Seriously.  
Do you or do you not have a girlfriend?

Isak! Seriously!  
It took you six days to come up with a text, and this is what you send me?

\---------------------------------------------------------- 

Isak just growls into his phone, forgetting that Vilde and Eva are still there. He looks up and are met with curious looks from the boys and the girls.

“What?!? My dad is being a jerk. Again.”

Eva and Vilde doesn’t know enough about his family situation, they only know he moved out, and they seem to buy his lie, but they are the only ones. Jonas just shoots him a look, but doesn’t say anything. He gets another notification on his phone.

 

**Floppyboy**

  
And to answer your question, I don’t have a girlfriend, we are broken up.  
Don’t know why I should have to tell the gossip mill that.

When did you break up?

You really want to know?

I really want to know. Wouldn’t ask you if I didn’t, Floppyboy.

I told you, never ever call me that again.

Even!

Yes, Isak?

Could you answer my question?  
Please?

Ok, since you asked so nicely.  
We broke up Monday for 3,5 weeks ago.

\---------------------------------------------------------- 

Isak mentally counts backwards. He knows exactly which Monday he is talking about. It’s that Monday. The Monday after the thing at the party. He doesn’t know what to answer, so he just doesn’t, instead he locks his phone and turns his attention back to his friends, while his head is spinning. Was he the reason for the break up? Did she know about what happened? Who is she? Is she a Nissen student too? The last part makes him want to throw up, what if she goes here and knows and tells people?


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "I just followed you to see if your carriage had turned into a pumpkin."

They go without texting or talking or acknowledging each other for another week. Isak keeps his head down, focuses on classes and tries to convince Magnus that he should try something with Vilde, anything to shift focus away from the mess he has made of his own life. He doesn’t know what to do with the knowledge that Even probably broke up with his girlfriend because of him. On one hand it makes him giddy, and on the other hand it just makes him feel so guilty. He knows it doesn’t compare to what his dad did, but he hates people cheating, and Even did cheat on his girlfriend. With him. 

In the end Jonas decides he has had enough of his moping, and drags him to a party in the more fashionable parts of Oslo despite Isak’s insisting he’s to tired and want to stay at home. It takes them forever to get there, or at least 15 minutes by metro and then another ten minutes walk, enough to sober him up almost completely, given how little he drank at the pregame. 

Of course the first person he sees when they enter the door is Even, he is standing in the kitchen talking to some other third years. Isak had hoped he wouldn’t be here, after all it is not a Nissenparty, the house belongs to some guy at Handels. 

Isak hurries through to the living room, packed with people. Normally he would join Jonas on the search for girls to impress, but Jonas just wants to find Eva and Isak can’t pretend to be interested in girls anymore, not when he has told his friends that he isn’t. He used to be able to fake it, but now the faking would just seem even more fake. 

Instead he walks around the house, watching people having fun and hooking up, doing his best to always know where Even is to make sure he himself is somewhere else. The house is built in a way that allows you to go around in a circle, from living room to dining room, through the kitchen and the hall and back to the living room again, and they move around the house, Isak carefully avoiding Even, Even doing his utmost to get closer to Isak. 

After completing the round five or six times he realizes he can’t stand the noise of the party anymore, normally he would be so drunk at this stage that all the people and the loud music wouldn’t bother him, but ever since the Even incident he has been trying not to get too drunk, something he is starting to regret right about now. Instead of starting his seventh round he sneaks out the door to get some fresh air and avoid the masses. 

Problem is that he is not the only one who has had that idea, there are just too many people in front of the house, and he seeks refuge in the back of the garden, hoping to find a quiet corner, without success. This party will be broken up by the police pretty soon, he recons. A neighbor is sure to call them soon, annoyed with the teenagers hooking up or throwing up in the hedges. He spots a gate leading to a pathway behind the house, and he quickly slips out and closes it behind him. He stays still, contemplating his life choices or maybe just where to go next, when he spots a football field a little further ahead and he goes to sit down on one of the benches, closing his eyes doing his best to block out the sounds coming from the party. Breathing in the cold and fresh November air. 

Suddenly, he hears someone approaching, and he just knows who it is without even looking up, and he keeps his eyes closed, not wanting to confirm his fears or hopes, it’s a draw between the two. In the end curiosity gets the better of him and looks up, and of course it is Even. He must have seen Isak leaving and followed him. Isak can’t decide between wanting to talk to him and wanting nothing to do with him. They started this thing totally backwards, and now it’s too soon to move forward and too late to go back and have a do-over. 

It seems that Even is waiting it out or just as unsure as Isak is, because he is not saying anything either. Instead they just sit there, Isak trying to ignore Even, doing a terrible job of it. He is just too close, too present to be ignored. All of Isak’s senses are on full alert, making his entire body stiff from the tension. In the end, he can’t ignore it anymore, and looks up just to look directly into Even’s eyes.

“Have you been sitting there, staring at me the whole time?” 

“You are a much better view than this football field, so why not?” 

Isak just laughs, the guy is too cheesy not to. “Yeah, sure.” 

“You don’t believe me? We really need to work on your self-esteem, Cinderella.”

“I thought I told you never to call me that, ever again.” Isak tries to look insulted, but somehow fails catastrophically. 

And it’s like Even can read his thoughts, knowing that Isak didn’t intend for it to sound as harsh as it was delivered. “Well, you did do the running out of another party before midnight again. I just followed you to see if your carriage had turned into a pumpkin.” Even deadpans. 

“Oh my god, you didn’t just say that. That is the worst joke I have heard in like forever.” But bad joke or not, Isak is laughing really hard at this point. This is so much better than the stupid party he just fled from. 

It would be an understatement to say that the conversation flows easily after that, instead they go quiet again, Isak not knowing what to say or how to say it. But the quiet is nice. Quiet is not a luxury he has a lot of, with school, Eskild, his parents, his head, everything around him is loud. 

Even finally breaks the silence. “Are you angry with me?” 

Isak looks up at Even, trying to gage what he is really asking, because it is so far from where his mind is at. He is not mad at him, he thinks. He is confused, intrigued, curious, attracted, but not angry. No, definitely not angry. 

“No, I am not mad. It’s just this situation is so weird. What we did, you know, when… I had never done anything like that. And then I just ran, and maybe kinda hoped I would never see you again, and then you showed up at school. I just got scared.”

Even nods, keeps quiet. 

“Actually, more ashamed than scared, maybe?” And he realized that is as close to the truth about himself that he has been for a really long time. 

“Ashamed? Over what we did, or?”

“No, no, no, not that. That part was… good, I think? Actually, I have never felt anything like that before. I didn’t know that was how it could feel. Obviously I have hooked up before, but you… that… was totally different.” Apparently once he starts telling the truth it just pores out of him, and he can’t seem to stop it. So he doesn’t even try, just continues. 

“No, I think I was more ashamed because I just ran? Ashamed because I didn’t want to tell anyone, maybe? Ashamed because I didn’t know why I didn’t want to tell anyone? I don’t know. It just was better when I thought you were a stranger, then I wouldn’t have to deal with it, I guess. I’m sorry, I know I am not making any sense now.” 

He can feel himself rambling, talking about feelings and taking responsibility for his action is not within his comfort zone. 

Even clears his throat. “I’m really sorry I kissed you. I guess I just figured you knew who I was when you followed me into the room.”

Whoah, this is news to Isak. Followed him into the room? Did he really do that? 

“Yeah, about that. That part is a bit fuzzy. I don’t really remember how things happened. One minute I was enjoying the party and I remember trying to find Jonas, trying to avoid this girl who’s been following me around at every goddamn party this semester. And the next I remember is us kissing.” He can feel himself blushing just thinking about it. 

“Oh… I thought you followed me. You came in right after me, and then you were so cute and flustered. I couldn’t help it. I wouldn’t have kissed you if I knew you didn’t follow me on purpose. It’s not something I normally do, kiss strangers at parties.” 

“Me neither”, he whispers. “Or, I have hooked up before, but nothing like that. Never with someone like you.” He doesn’t say “never with a boy”, but hopes Even picks up on the things that are left unsaid. 

The quiet that follow the admission from Isak is almost deafening. He desperately thinks of things to say, to break the tension, to get the conversation over to safer topics, less emotional ones. 

“You know, I think I actually have played football on that field when I was younger”. He looks up at Even, getting used to his intense blue eyes staring back. 

“Oh, please don’t tell me you were one of those obnoxious football kids?” He says it with a laugh on his face, and Isak notices how his eyes almost disappear when he smiles. It’s cute. Really cute. 

“Well, if you count playing football until you are fifteen, well yes, then I was one of those kids.” Isak had been rather serious about playing football for a really long time. He had even been on the regional team for a few years. But when things went south with his parents he had just quit, getting to and from practice became difficult when he had no-one to drive him, having to rely on getting a lift from other parents all the time too hard. 

“I bet you looked cute in your football shorts.” Even nudges his shoulder. 

“Cute? You think I’m cute?” 

“You are the cutest.” Even laughs, and Isak thinks he could fall in love with that laugh.

“I am not cute. I am rough and tough.” 

It is starting to get really cold and Isak checks his phone to see what time it is, worried the other boys have started to wonder where he has gone to, he has sitting out here longer than he was planning on. He finds a few messages from Jonas, first one asking where he is, and if he left already, and then one more sent 10 minutes later informing him that the boys fled when the police arrived. 

“Uhhhm, I think I’m going to go home, seems like my friends have left already. Apparently, the police showed up and shut the whole thing down.”

Even seems as little surprised by the whole police shutting the party down news as Isak and just asks Isak where he lives.

“Why, you think I am going to invite you home with me?” Isak says with half a smirk, half serious.

“No. Jesus. I was thinking maybe I could follow you home, if we are going in the same direction. After all, it is past midnight and late for such a young and innocent boy to be walking the dangerous streets of Oslo by himself.”

“You dork, trying to be prince charming to Cinderella? I live down town, not far from Oslo City, like 10 minutes walk or something. But I can manage on my own, thank you very much. I am not a kid, you know.” 

“Sure, whatever you say. I am going in the same direction, so let’s go then, the bus stop is not far from here.” And with that Even just starts to walk, clearly expecting Isak to follow, which he does after a few seconds of hesitation, already 20 meters behind, having to run to catch up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fun fact: This party takes place in the same area as the party in season 3 episode 5 was taped, the one at Emma’s house. The football field mentioned actually exist, the same with the pathway behind the house. The house is fictional, I have never been inside any of the houses nearby, just passed them while out running.


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Five minutes is not much. It is 300 seconds. If he can just stay there and stare straight ahead at the ugly red building across the road, three hundred seconds will fly by, he is sure of it. Yep, he can do this, totally.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First: Thank you for the lovely comments, they really do make my day brighter. (And with the shitty weather we have in Oslo right now, I really need that. Rain on freezing cold pavement = extremely icy. I almost fell twice today.)
> 
> Second: Posting still a bit erratic, work totally got in the way the last few days. Next chapter will probably not be up until Saturday earliest, the next two days are going to be crazy work wise. But, I am loving it, so I'm not complaining.

Even was right, the bus stop isn’t that far from the football field. And he had a point in walking together, even Isak hates to admit it, because given Isak’s lack of sense of direction it would have taken him forever to get there. Possible risking having to walk through the garden he came from, where he is guessing the police are keeping a look out still, and that would be far from ideal, he is underage and if not drunk not entirely sober either. 

The wait for the bus to arrive is awkward, Isak doesn’t know where to look or if he is supposed to talk or not. With Even less than two feet away it is as his mind has turned into soup, all coherent thoughts completely lost. 

Even holds up his phone. “According to this the bus is less than five minutes away.” Isak relaxes, he can do five minutes, he thinks. Five minutes is not much. It is 300 seconds. If he can just stay there and stare straight ahead at the ugly red building across the road, three hundred seconds will fly by, he is sure of it. Yep, he can do this, totally. 

Funny thing about time, when you want it to fly it does the exact opposite, but finally, finally the bus arrives and they enter and find themselves a double seat in the back of the bus. Isak would have preferred the double seat to himself and have Even sit somewhere else on the bus, like in the front, but decides it is probably rude to ask that of him. Instead is slumps down in his seat and pulls his hoodie over his head, trying to ignore the body heat radiating from Even. 

The bus ride takes longer than you would expect on a Friday night with the traffic this light, and Isak gets more and more anxious every time the bus stops at a red light or a bus stop. However, with the bus constantly stopping and starting it doesn’t take long before last week’s insomnia catches up with him and he falls asleep with his head on Even’s shoulder even before the bus reaches the motorway. It wasn’t something he was planning on, and frankly, he is kind of embarrassed by it. He doesn’t wake until Even gently nudges him right before the stop right outside Oslo Central Station. He is still so dazed from sleeping that he can’t muster up enough energy to tell Even that he doesn’t need to follow him home, like some damsel in distress, he just lets him follow. 

Ten minutes of uneasy silence later he can see the familiar blue front door. “This is me, thank you for following me home, although I told you it wasn’t necessary. It was nice, I guess.” He looks up at Even for the first time since the bus stop at Røa. 

“You are welcome, I guess.” Even mimics him and Isak worries that he might have insulted Even. “But it’s late, you’d better go in. Aren’t your parents going to be worried when you come home this late?” 

Yeah, wouldn’t that be nice, parents who worries if he gets home or not. Or at least someone who worries. Eskild is great, but he is also big on this “not being Isak’s caregiver” sort of thing, so he rarely pays attention to Isak coming and going. The only thing he cares about is whether the dishes are done and rent is paid, tasks that Isak has yet to master. 

“I don’t live with my parents anymore, this is a shared apartment and my roommates don’t care when I get home,” he says nonchalant. “Linn is probably sleeping already and I am guessing Eskild is either still out partying or spending the night with the guy he is currently seeing.” 

Even is taken aback by this. No wonder, it is not common for a high schooler born and raised in Oslo, not to live with one or both of their parents while in high school. Rent for an apartment in Oslo, shared or not, can be quite steep and Isak was lucky to find this place with Eskild, the rent is considerably lower here than it probably could be. And with his Dad’s support and the grant he gets it is just about enough to cover rent and food. 

“I thought you were a city boy? Why live in a share apartment if your parents live in Oslo? Couldn’t you just stay home and save money, I am guessing rent is pretty high for a place here?” 

“Here” meaning almost down town Oslo, close to almost everything. 

Isak is not ready to discuss this, not now. His messy home life was something he shares with as few people as possible, even Mahdi and Magnus are in the dark of how bad it was before he moved out. “That is none of your business, but let’s just say that it got too messy to stay at home. When my dad moved out I just couldn’t handle it anymore and had to get out of there.”

Even looks apologetic at him, face suddenly full of sympathy. “Sorry, you are right. None of my business. I shouldn’t have asked.”

Isak nods, to show him that he accepts the apology. Seems like Even knows a thing or two about boundaries after all. He tucks that useful information away together with all the other bits and pieces he knows about him (like good kisser, knows his way around Oslo, and not to forget good looking). 

“But I live at home, and my parents will worry if I’m not home soon, so I guess I’d better go. This was nice. Can we do it again?”

Is he serious? He really wants to hang out with him? The mere idea instantly puts like a gazillion butterflies in his stomach. 

“Do what again? Me running out of a party and you insisting on following me home? Don’t see that happening any time soon, sorry.” 

He is a regular comedian, and if he tried to be sarcastic Even for sure doesn’t pick up on it. Instead he laughs that laugh that only serves to double the number of butterflies. 

“Ha-ha, very funny. I mean I would love to spend more time with you. I think you could like me if you just gave me a chance.” 

There’s probably nothing Isak wants more, if he wasn’t too afraid to admit it. “Maybe.” Isak shrugs, playing aloof. 

“Maybe you would like me or maybe we could spend some time together?”

Even comes closer and closer, and just before Isak thinks they are about to kiss, Even pulls away, turns and leaves. 

Isak is already missing the feeling of Even that close, but acts like it’s no big deal. Instead he unlocks and opens the blue door. The last thing he hears before the door slams shut behind him is Even almost shouting. 

“Text me when you have decided.” 

He leans into the door, finally able to breath, feeling drunk but being almost completely sober.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fun fact: The bus they take home after the party is real, the same for the bus stop and the red house Isak sees when they wait for the bus. 
> 
> More fun facts: It is not common for high school students in Oslo to move out of their parents house, it is rare that the commute to and from school making it impossible to live at home, Oslo is not a big city. It is a really expensive city to live in, whether you rent or buy. Some students get a government grant if they have to move away from home before they finish high school, but that depends on the parents income level and whether or not you could possibly live at home. In the more rural areas of Norway it is not that uncommon for a sixteen year old to move away from home to go to high school. Many of my classmates when I was in high school lived by themselves.


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He tries to play hard to get, he really does.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a small chapter today, a longer one will be up tomorrow.

He tries to play hard to get, he really does. For at least four minutes. Or maybe five. But as soon as he enters his room, he picks up his phone, opens his messages and sends a quick text to Even.

Floppy Even

Both.

Really?

Yes.

When?

When what?

You know what!

No, please enlighten me.

When can I see you again?

Oh, that type of when…

Yes, Isak, that type of when.

I don’t know. I have to check my calendar, it is pretty full.

Isak!

Yes, Even?

Could you answer my question?  
Please?

Ok, since you asked so nicely.   
I have a physics test on Wednesday I need to study for, but I am free Wednesday and Thursday, I think.

You think?

I know.

Good. Then I choose Wednesday. I’ll pick you up at 1730.  
Good night, Isak. Sleep well.

Good night, Even.

Isak drops his phone down on his chest and stares at the ceiling. He just got asked out on a date. A date with Even. He is so happy and excited he wants to scream, but holds it in, afraid he will wake Linn. And then Linn would tell Eskild, and he would not hear the end of it. And this is something he’ll keep for himself for time being. His own little, wonderful, butterflies-in-the-stomach kind of secret.


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He is looking so hot that Isak momentarily forgets to breathe.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for the lovely comments and kudos, I really appreciate it. 
> 
> I hope you enjoy this short chapter while I go research where I will send Even and Isak on their first date.

The next days he manages to put the thought of Even and the date as far back in his mind as possible. Which means he thinks about it almost all the time. Thankfully he has the physics test to distract him. Physics doesn’t come as easy to him as biology or chemistry, and he is forced to put in some serious effort, and that has proven more difficult than usual. By Tuesday he is really stressed, for some reason it has been hard to focus at home, every time he has tried to sit down and study, Netflix, Youtube or his phone has been far too tempting and he knows he is nowhere near ready for his test. 

He decides to utilize one of his old tactics, the one he used when things were so rough at home that he couldn’t get any work done even in the safety of his room. He throws his books and his laptop in his backpack and goes to a small coffee shop he hasn’t been to since he moved out, the WiFi there so crappy you can hardly call it WiFi, making procrastinating almost impossible. He buys a small cup of coffee and settles down at a table in the way back, where no-one can bother him, puts his phone on airplane mode, puts his headphones in and gets to work. 

With no distractions, he manages to get through everything he needs to know for his test. And since this is the first time since Friday that he has been really able to focus on school work he pulls up his Norwegian assignment that is due Monday, and starts working on the outline.

All of a sudden, he notices someone approaching his table, and when he looks up he sees Even, holding a plate with food and a huge cup of coffee. He is wearing an apron and his hair is soft, not styled the way he usually wears it, and he is looking so hot that Isak momentarily forgets to breathe. He pulls out his headphones, and greets Even with a huge smile. “Hi. Didn’t think I’d see you here.”

Even smiles back. “You have been sitting here, nursing your one cup of coffee for so long I thought you deserved a fresh cup and something to eat. You must be starving, you have been sitting here forever.”

Isak checks the time, realizing he’s been sitting at the same spot for almost four hours. He is lucky they haven’t thrown him out, considering he only bought one cup of coffee. His stomach chooses this exact moment to growl, loud enough to let everyone wishing a ten meter diameter know how hungry his is. He hesitantly takes the food, not sure he can afford it. Buying food at coffee shops is not really within his budget. “I don’t think I have enough money on me to pay for this, but maybe I can pay you back tomorrow?”

Even just shakes his head. “Don’t worry about it, it is on the house. We close in less than an hour, and I get to buy the leftovers at half price. I’ll just pretend this is one of the leftovers.”

“Thank you, really.” He hates owing people, but he is really hungry and the food looks delicious. “Have you been here long?” 

“I started my shift three hours ago. Frankly I am a bit upset you haven’t noticed me.”

“I am sorry, I had to study for the test tomorrow, I have had difficulties focusing at home lately, and I have this test tomorrow.” He points at his physics book and frowns. “It is easier to focus here, no distraction, and when I get in the zone I tend to block everything else out.”

“I noticed. It was kind of hot, actually. You are really cute when you study.” 

Isak can feel himself blushing, he hates that Even has that effect on him. He tries to shift the focus over to something else. “I didn’t know you worked here?” 

“Yeah, it's a nice place and I like it here. The manager is really cool, she lets me work when I can, but doesn't force me to work if it doesn't fit with school or other things.” 

Isak looks around the coffee shop, that by now is almost empty, a testament of how long he has been sitting there. “I haven’t been here in a long time. Used to come here a lot, before I moved.”

Even nods. “It’s a nice place to hide and do homework. Our WiFi is known for its shittiness, which means fewer distractions.” He looks towards his coworker, who is gesturing for Even to come back. “I need to get back to work.”

“And I need to finish this assignment, it is due soon.” Isak nods at his laptop. 

“But I’ll see you tomorrow, right?” Even asks before getting up from his chair. 

“Yep. 1730. I’ll be ready.” He gives Even a big smile before turning his attention to his computer. 

He tries to go back to his assignment, music blasting through his ears to distract him from what just happened, but it is considerably more difficult to focus on his work now that he knows that Even is there. After he has finished his coffee and food he gives up, packs his stuff and waves Even goodbye and gets a huge smile back in return.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No fun fact in this chapter, except that the chance of finding a coffee shop in Oslo with shitty wifi is rather slim. But there are some, and I have a few I like to go to when I am working on something that requires my full attention and no distractions. (I usually end up using shared internett on my phone instead, good thing my phone bill is payed for by my employer and includes free texting, calling and a lot of data traffic.)


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Actually, it’s a boy, and his name is Even.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I woke up at 7 AM on a Sunday!?! WTF? And for no good reason, everyone else in this house is smart enough to sleep, including the dog. Well, at least I get to enjoy a beautiful sunrise going on right now, and revel in the fact that I don't have to leave the house today considering it is -12 degrees outside

Wonder of all wonders, his physics test went better then he had feared the day before, and he was in a very good mood when he came back from school. Now he is walking around his room, feeling nervous and excited at the same time. This is the first date with someone that matters to him. He has been on dates before, obviously, but that was fake Isak. This is real Isak. And real Isak wants this to be good, be perfect. He has changed his outfit three times, which is three times more than fake Isak would. 

He keeps his fingers crossed that Eskild won’t be home before the date, hoping to keep this private. He has kept Even a secret from Eskild, not sure why, from the very beginning. Eskild would have been the obvious choice to get answers from, but for some reason it is scarier telling Eskild about Even than it was telling Jonas. Maybe it is because he is afraid of the big, fat “I told you so” that he knows he would hear? Eskild has probably known, or at least heavily suspected, that he is into boys since the first time they met, in a gay bar, sixteen-year-old Isak drunk off his ass. The details of how he ended up at Eskild’s flat are a bit fuzzy, but there is no point denying that Eskild saved him that night, and has kept on saving him ever since.

But his luck just ran out, because of course Eskild walks through the front door right before Even is due to pick him up and when he pops his head through Isak’s door, he takes in the scene and concludes in less than ten seconds flat that Isak is going on a date. It could be the numerous discarded outfits tossed on the bed that gives him away or maybe just his panicked face. 

“So, who is the lucky girl?” Isak mentally gives him points for not assuming it’s a boy, but other than that he feels kind of weird discussing this with Eskild. They are close, but at the same time not close? It is difficult to define what they are to each other. They are more than just roommates, but at the same time the age difference makes them less than friends, he thinks. 

“Eskild! That is none of your business!” Isak’s tries to fake annoyance, which is actually not that hard, Eskild has a tendency to push the boundaries most of the time. Eskild responds with giving him a pointy look, a look that says: “Eskild knows”. 

And even if Eskild doesn’t know as much as he thinks he does, this time Isak decides not to fight him on it. 

“Actually, it’s a boy, and his name is Even.” Isak recognizes that he finds it easier and easier to tell his friends about him and Even. “He is picking me up any minute.” 

“Oh, Isak, that is great news! I am so happy for you! But wait! Who is this guy, where did you meet him, is he nice? You have to tell me all about him!”

“Thanks. And I will tell you, but not right now, I have to get ready.” And just as he finishes his sentence the doorbell rings, and he grabs his jacket and shoes, checks his pockets for his phone and wallet, and leaves before Eskild can get in another word. 

Even is waiting for him outside, and Isak reckons Even is just as nervous as he is, because he is bouncing on his feet. His smile is wide, and before Isak can gather his thoughts he is pulled into a brief hug, and he was totally not expecting that and doesn’t really know how to react.

“Are you ready?” Even bounces with excitement. 

“Yeah. Wanna tell me what are we doing? You haven’t even told me where we are going.” Even has already started walking, and as usual Isak is struggling to keep up. Even legs are the longest,

“Wait and see, it’s a surprise.” Even just smiles, clearly happy with himself that he has this secret date planned. 

Isak is not good with surprises, he hates not knowing, not being in complete control. This is going to be a long night, he thinks to himself. 

After less than 10 minutes they are at Youngstorget, at a place Isak has never been to before, the sign above the door reading “Kulturhuset”, at least that what he thinks it says, the logo is in a kind of weird, hipster writing. 

“I was thinking I could test your competitive side, have you ever tried shuffleboard?” 

Isak looks at him, just thinking “competitive?, shuffleboard?” and just shakes his head. He has heard of it, but never tried it.

“I have reserved a board for us in a little while, but I thought we could get something to eat first. Are you hungry?” 

Isak finally finds his voice and answers that yes, he is hungry. 

Even points to the bar. “The food here is nothing fancy, but it is really good. I recommend trying the toast, it is simple but good.”

Isak nods. “Toast sounds good, I could go for some toast.”

Even smiles and points to the tables. “Great, I’ll order if you find us a place to sit. Anything to drink? You are not old enough for beer, are you?”

“No, I wish, but I’m seventeen. I’ll just have a coke or something.”

Isak finds a reasonable quiet table in the corner and sits down to wait for Even, pulling up his phone and scrolling through Instagram while he waits. Even comes back a little later with their drinks, and Isak appreciates the subtle support when he notices that Even has ordered coke for both. It would have been weird being the only one without alcohol. 

They wait for their food in uncomfortable silence, Isak slowly sipping to his drink, stealing glances at Even. Things get better once the food arrives and they start eating. They discuss what type of music and movies they like, and it seems they have zero things in common in those two areas. Even’s interests are more eclectic, whereas Isak prefers things that are more mainstream, something Even teases him for, calling him a kid. 

“Excuse me, you are just one year older than me” he says with feigned annoyance. 

“Two, actually, had to repeat my third year. I’m a 97.” 

Even says it likes it a casually thing, but Isak can sense that there’s a story behind it. “Is that why you transferred to Nissen?”

Even looks a little uncomfortable. “It’s some of the reason, yes.” 

Isak doesn’t press it any further. He too knows enough about keeping secrets and having boundaries.

They finish their food just in time for their slot at the shuffleboard. “Have you ever played shuffleboard?” Even asks him as they walk up two floors to the room where the shuffleboards are. 

“I’ll have you know I am the shuffleboard master!” A blatant lie, Isak has never played shuffleboard in his life. Even just snickers, obviously not believing him. “Oookay. So, you’ll skip the introduction then, no need for going through the rules?” Even obviously calls his lies, and Isak just shrugs.

“I mean, we could go over them, just to make sure we play by the same rules, you know.”

This earns him another look from Even. “There are no different rules in shuffleboard, Isak.”

They get their pucks and are given a short introduction and start playing. Turns out neither of them are masters of this game. They struggle a lot figuring how hard they need to shuffle the pucks, half of the time they stop way before they should, the rest of the time they end up going way too far. Even finds it hilarious how competitive Isak gets, especially when he manages four points in one game and takes the lead. By the second game things have really loosened up between them, and the banter travels effortlessly between them back and forth. After the third round their allotted time is up, Isak has won two out of three and Even swears he’ll get revenge the next time. 

“Next time?” Isak asks. “Isn’t that rather presumptuous of you?”

“What? Are you telling me you are willing to give up on all of this after just one date?” Even pouts, and Isak laughs, admitting that he might be up for another date. 

Isak excuses himself to go to the restrooms before they leave. When he comes out he sees through the glass wall between the hallway and the gaming area that Even is talking to some blond girl. Isak had noticed her when she came in with some friends a little while ago, not paying more attention to her after that, other than she is really pretty. But now Even and the girl are standing close, too close, it is clear that they have intimate knowledge of each other. It must be his ex, can’t be anyone else. Her hand is on his arm, touching him like a girlfriend would do. Isak can’t hear what they are saying, he just catches some bits and pieces. As he walks closer he can hear her saying something sounding like “have you told him yet, he deserves to know”, and he can see Even wincing at that. They are obviously not over, not by a long shot. Isak can feel the knot in his stomach forming, feeling hurt and fooled. 

Suddenly, Even notices Isak and tries to pry himself out of her touch, but it’s too late. Isak can’t handle being there anymore and just storms out of there, running down the stairs with Even right at his heals, calling for him. But he just can’t stop and talk now, instead he picks up his pace, ignoring Even. He doesn’t stop running until he is sure Even is no longer following him. He pics up his phone and sends a message. 

 

Eskild

On my way home. Went to shit.  
Don’t want to talk about it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry, sorry, sorry, not the perfect ending to the date, I know. I will make it up to you, I promise. 
> 
> Fun fact: [Kulturhuset](http://kulturhusetioslo.no) actually exists. And it is indeed a sort of hipster place, that I found fitting that Even would go to. I haven't tried the toast, they do serve it, but I have played shuffleboard there and proved to everyone around me that I am the most ungracious winner on the planet. (Because, of course I won all three games.)


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Isak regrets running out, and tries to fix things. Needless to say, it doesn't exactly go to plan.

He regrets his reaction even before he is home. He is so mad at himself for (probably) overreacting and for letting Even get so close. He is all too aware of the fact that the likelihood of him blowing the whole thing totally out of proportions is rather high, after all he is the master of catastrophe thinking, imagining the worst outcome of every situation. On the other hand, he can’t help thinking that everything would have been better if he’d just shut this thing down before it got too far. But it’s too late for regrets, the mess is real and he somehow must deal with it. At least that is what Eskild told him when he told him about the date and the awful ending. Needless to say, Isak doesn’t sleep much that night.

He kind of regrets not telling his friends about the date. The reason had been obvious, he had been afraid to jinx things. As it is now he has no good explanation for his extremely bad mood, other than his go to strategy “family issues”. He is really hoping he doesn’t run in to Even at school, afraid he’ll be angry and either lash out at him or, worse, ignore him. But as far as he can determine, Even is not in school at all. At least he is not in any of the common areas during break. This is what makes him be honest with himself, that he would have liked Even to be at school, to see him, talk to him and make things better. 

Last week’s Isak would probably have seen this as a sign, that it was his chance to give up and let go, cut his losses and pretended to move on. But there is something about Even that won’t let this week’s Isak do that. That is why he picks up his phone on the tram on his way home from school and sends Even a message. He doesn’t really expect a response, it’s not like he deserves it, after running out of Even again, but he can’t not try. 

Even (Floppyboy)

Can we talk?  
I’m sorry for running out of there yesterday. 

It’s okay. 

No, it’s not OK.  
You had planned this wonderful date, and I acted like an idiot.  
I owe you an apology. 

You don’t owe me anything, Isak.

Why would you say that? 

I’m the idiot.  
I understand why you left.

It is not your fault. 

It is, though. I don’t deserve someone like you. 

You are wrong.  
Can we please just talk? 

Not today, I’m not feeling too good.  
Maybe tomorrow.

Ok.  
I hope you feel better tomorrow. 

 

Even doesn’t answer him back, and he doesn’t show up at school the next day either. Isak is sick with worry. Worried that he ruined a good thing even before it began. Worried about Even being sick. 

True to Friday tradition Jonas drags him to the nearest kebab place for their “Isak and Jonas” time when school ends that Friday. Isak only pays half attention when Jonas talks about the latest development between him and Eva, they have been on again off again for a while now, and Isak has lost track of the current stats. But it seems they are on again, and Isak is actually happy for them, or would be if he could just forget about the mess with Even.

“Hello, earth to Isak! Have you even been listening to what I have been saying?” Jonas pulls his phone away from him, trying to get his attention back. He wasn’t even aware that he had been staring at his phone for the lats ten minutes. 

“I'm sorry. I'm just a bit distracted today, that’s all.” 

Jonas shoots him that look. That look that says he’ll listen, and Isak sighs and starts talking. “I went on a date on Wednesday. With Even.” 

To Jonas' credit he looks a little surprised this time. “Wow. A date? I didn’t know you two were even talking.”

Isak is painfully aware of how little he's been telling his best friend. “We are. Or, we were. He followed me when I tried to escape that party at Røa, that’s why I disappeared so early. We started talking and he decided he wanted to make sure I got home safely. And then he asked me out and I said yes.” Isak smiles at the thought, it had been a great ending to a not so good night. 

“He went out Wednesday, to Kulturhuset, eating toasts and playing shuffleboard and it was great fun.” He tells Jonas about the date, how Even was the complete gentleman, except for when Isak beat him in shuffleboard. “I think I really, really like him, Jonas. Like a lot.”

Jonas looks at him with a fond smile. “I’m so happy for you.”

“But the thing is, it kind of went south afterwards. His girlfriend showed up. Or his ex-girlfriend. I am not so sure she really is an ex.”

“What?” Jonas is shocked, and Isak can tell he is upset by the way his voice almost cracks and he does this thing with his eyebrows when he gets upset. “I thought you said they broke up weeks ago?”

Isak nods, and lets out a sigh. “That’s what he told me. But by the looks of it they are not completely over. She was all over him, holding his arm, standing really close.”

“Ok. But what did he say when you asked him about it?”

Isak is so ashamed of his reaction he is not sure how he can even begin to tell Jonas, and he sure as hell can’t look him in the eyes while he is doing it. Instead he plays with his food, pushing a single fry back and forth, stalling. “Well, that’s the thing. I didn’t. Ask, I mean. I didn’t ask. I just left.” 

He looks up and sees the disappointment spread on Jonas’ face. “You didn’t let him explain? Why, Isak, why?” Jonas looks like he can’t decide wether to hit him or kick his ass. 

“I don’t know. I freaked out. They were standing so close, she almost kissed him and he didn’t look like he wanted to stop her from doing it either. I didn’t want to get in the middle of that. No matter how cute he is, I don’t want to be the other man. I just don’t. He was still with her when we hooked up the first time. Maybe that’s just what he does, cheats.” He can’t stop the tears from forming in his eyes, furiously wiping them away before they can fall. 

Jonas puts his hand on Isak’s, trying to calm him. “But you are not the other man. He said they broke up, you need to trust him on that, why would he lie to you?”

Isak looks straight at him with sad eyes. “But how can I trust that when I saw what I saw? Maybe he just lied to me, maybe he is just playing me?”

Jonas is not having it, he just shakes his head. “But you have got to let him explain, have you at least tried to talk to him afterwards?”

Isak nods, and makes a gesture towards his phone. “I have. Or, I sent a text yesterday, asking if we could talk and apologizing for being an idiot. But he just told me it was his fault and that he wasn’t feeling too good. He hasn’t been to school these last two days.”

“Send him another text then. Ask if he is doing better and if you can meet. Do it now.”

Isak can feel the hope rising, before it plummets again. “I don’t know what I can write that I haven’t already told him?”

“Just ask him if he wants to meet you tomorrow. Straight up. Don’t make it more difficult than it needs to be.”

Isak pulls up his phone and quickly types in a short message, anxiously waiting for a reply. 

Even (Floppyboy).

Hi. Missed you at school today.  
Hope you are feeling better?

Sorry, didn’t feel like going to school today. 

That’s okay. Can we meet this weekend? There is something I need to tell you.  
Please.

I'm not sure. Still not feeling good.  
I’ll text you tomorrow.


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wait, what? Had you seen me before that party?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A bit longer chapter today, I just couldn't seem to make them stop talking. Oh, well, hope you enjoy.

Even doesn’t text the next day, and after some pep talk with Jonas Isak decides to wait it out. He tried twice, if Even wants to talk to him he’ll text. If not, he figures it just wasn’t meant to be or something. Doesn’t mean that it doesn’t hurt, because it hurts. A lot. This is the first time that he has let himself believe that there could be someone out there for him. Sure, he’s had crushes before, but not like this. This crush is on a completely different level. He keeps thinking back to the date on Wednesday, to how much fun it had been, goofing around, flirting a little. Enjoying being close, but not too close. 

Most of Saturday is spent staring up at the ceiling or drowning himself in Netflix, and it has been the longest Saturday in history. On the bright side, he managed to finish his Norwegian assignment and has prepared for most of his classes for the upcoming week. And sort of cleaned his room and did laundry. And when Eskild invites him to movie night with him and Linn he accepts, enjoying the quiet company and the popcorn Eskild made. Maybe there is hope for him and Eskild being more than just roommates after all? 

He sleeps in on Sunday, his body catching up on some desperately needed sleep. He is barely awake when he hears his phone going off with notification after notification, and he makes an educated guess that it is probably just the boys wanting to meet up. He grabs his phone, rubs the remaining sleep out of his eyes and tries to make sense out of the multitudes of notifications on his phone, most of them from the group chat with the boys. He is scrolling through the notifications when a message stands out. It’s from Even. 

Even

Want to meet up today?

Of course.  
Where? When?

I finish work at the coffee shop at 3 PM  
Meet me there? 

Ok.  
See you then

He considers sending an emoji, but Jonas had been adamant that he’d not use emojis when texting Even. He rechecks the time, already past 1 PM. Enough time to take a shower, try to make his hair look somewhat well behaved and freak out before he must be there. 

Standing outside the coffee shop he can feel his nerves kicking in. Afraid of what Even will say, if he’ll accept Isak’s apology for running off. He slowly opens the door and walks in, he is a few minutes early and Even is just finishing up his shift. Being around Even gives him butterflies and makes him more nervous than he’s ever been before, but it also gives him hope, hope for a future where he can be himself, be loved. He is not ready to give up on that already. 

“Want some coffee or something to eat?” Even’s smile is wide and warm, and Isak can feel himself instantly relax a little, maybe this won’t be as bad after all. 

“Yes, both, please.” 

“Just find a seat and I’ll be right over.”

Isak goes to sit down at his usual table, and Even comes over just a minute later, with two large coffees and one of the biggest cinnamon buns Isak has ever seen.

“Thought we could share, this thing is so big I swear it is made for sharing.”

“Thank you. I haven’t eaten at all today.” He says it without thinking, not realizing it sounds way worse than it is, considering he has only been up for a few hours and he quickly adds “I slept until 1 PM, so it is not as bad as it sounds.”

“I don’t know what’s worse, you sleeping until 1 PM or you not eating at all today.” Even looks shocked, but he says it with a smile in his voice, and then he pushes the entire cinnamon bun over to Isak. “You can have it all. I can get another one later,” he says with a shrug. 

“Thank you. I don’t normally sleep so late, but I have trouble sleeping sometimes, so I try to catch up on sleep during weekends if I can. Most of the time I’m up before noon.” He takes a big bite of the cinnamon bun. “Oh, this is really good. Wow.” 

“Wow, hungry much?” Even laughs as Isak almost inhales the cinnamon bun. 

“Sorry, I forgot to go grocery shopping yesterday, there wasn’t much to eat at home and Eskild gets mad at me if I steal his food too often.” He made that mistake the first week he lived with Eskild, and it had caused him having to do the dishes and clean the bathroom the next two weeks. He is not making that mistake again. 

“Have you lived with him long?” 

“I moved in last spring.” He doesn’t elaborate more on that. Things had been rough for a few weeks, after he left his mother’s house and before Noora moved out and he could take her room. And it had been rough moving out just before he turned 17, at least when he hadn’t really been prepared for it, it sort of just happened. 

Isak continues eating, and Even stays quiet, fiddling with his coffee cup. He can feel Even’s eyes on him, and when he looks up at him, he’s faced with Even looking at him with a soft look his eyes. Isak decides to dive right in to the reason he’s there. “I had a really good time on Wednesday, and I am really sorry for just running away”.

“You know that’s the second time you run out on me. I am starting to see a trend here. It is difficult not to take it personally.” Even is keeping the conversation light, and Isak is grateful for the attempt.

“Well, I have to keep up my Cinderella reputation, you know,” he smirks, trying to make a joke to relieve the tension that is so thick you could slice it with a knife. 

“Haha, very funny. I think that is one of the worst jokes I have heard.”

“Didn’t you know that I am the master of bad jokes?” Isak says, causing Even to huff out a short laugh. 

“Even, I wanted you to know that I am truly sorry I ran out. I owe you an explanation.” 

Evens face is hard to read, if Isak didn’t know any better he would say he was sad, not angry, but that doesn’t make sense. “I don’t know why I keep running away from you, I panicked I guess. Just seeing you together like that, you two were so close, so together. My mind sort of short circuited. Is she your girlfriend?”

“My ex-girlfriend, yes. Sonja.”

“It didn’t really look like you are over. And then I overheard she talking to you, about you having to tell me…”

Even interrupts him before he can say anything else. “Isak! I promise you, I am not together with her. I am so, so sorry if I gave you that impression. It was the first time we met after we broke up, and I guess I didn’t handle it very well.” 

Even reaches for Isak’s hand, and it makes him feel safe. Like he can ask Even anything. “Even, I need you to be honest with me. Did you two break up because of me? Does she know about what happened at that party?”

Even looks him straight in the eyes. “No and yes. The break up was a long time coming, we hadn’t been good for a while, and after that night I realized that I couldn’t go on being with her anymore. So, I told her what I had done, and asked if we could take a break.” He doesn’t add that she didn’t take it well at all. She had reacted badly, claiming that it was just a phase and that he would be back with her soon. 

“Oh.” Isak doesn’t know what to say, he is just so embarrassed that he didn’t give Even a chance to explain. He feels like such an idiot. A jealous, insecure idiot. And then hope sparks, maybe there is a chance for them? 

Even clears his throat. “I, ehhh, I kinda thought that you ran for a different reason, that you overheard more of what Sonja said to me. Because there is something I need to tell you, and I am not sure how to do it.”

Isak can feel his stomach drop, this sound ominous. 

Even hesitates, Isak can tell that he is nervous. “I need to tell you this, before this thing can go any further. Because this will affect you and it will affect me, and I am afraid you won’t want to be with me once you know.”

Isak squeezes his hand, trying to give Even the same reassurance that Even gave him earlier, letting him know he can tell him anything. 

“Isak, I am bipolar.”

“Ok.” That is all Isak can say. He knows what bipolar is, or at least he knows the medical definition of it. 

“Do you know what bipolar means?” Even asks him. 

“Yeah, sort of. I know what the Wikipedia-version, at least. I don’t know anyone who is bipolar, though.”

“You’ve read about it?” Even seems surprised. 

This time it is Isak’s turn to be nervous, wondering how much to tell Even, the story is not that pretty. But he figures he owes Even this much. “Remember when I told you about my messy home and that I moved out last year? It’s a bit more than just a little messy. My mom is not well, and when my dad left us last year things got worse. She has always been a little eccentric, not like other moms, but when I was younger I didn’t think much of it, it was just the way it was. She is very religious, and when things started to get really bad, I thought it was just that, but in the end I realized it had to be more I so started googling mental illnesses to see if anything there made sense.”

“And did it?” Even’s voice is soft, and not the least bit judgmental. It makes Isak feel safe, that he can trust Even. 

“No, not really. Nothing I read really fit with how she was, is, behaving, and besides, it wouldn’t matter, because it is not like she is willing to seek help anyway. That is why I moved out, actually. She got more and more erratic, and me struggling with being, you know, interested in boys and her quoting the bible to me at the most inopportune moments. It just wasn’t a good place to be.”

Isak can’t believe he is telling this to Even. Jonas is the only other person who knows how bad it was. And now he is sitting here, spilling his inner most secret to an almost complete stranger. 

“I love my mom, I really do. Please don’t get me wrong.”

“I don’t. Thank you for telling me. I know it isn’t easy talking about stuff like this.”

“You are the second person I tell this to. Not even Eskild knows the details of why I moved out. Only Jonas. And now you.”

Silence falls upon them again. 

Then Isak suddenly realizes something, “But wait, you thought I ran out because I found out you are bipolar?”

Even nods. “Yeah, I have had some not so nice experiences telling people. But I don’t want to hide it anymore.”

“Why should you hide it? It is a part of who you are, but it doesn’t define you.”

His answer makes Even smile. “Thank you. You really are something, aren’t you?” 

Isak blushes, not used to getting compliments like that. He looks at Even, who looks so happy it is hard not to look at him. 

Isak takes a look around the coffee shop. “You know, I used to come here a lot before I moved out. It was my quiet place, where I could concentrate on getting my homework done.” 

“I know.”

Confusion is written all over Isak’s face. “You know? How?”

“The first time I saw you was more than a year ago, I was working and you came in to study. You were one of the most beautiful boys I had ever seen.”

“What? I mean, really what? I don’t believe this. I can’t remember ever seeing you before that party. Had you seen me before?”

“Frankly I am a bit surprised you never noticed me staring at you every time you came in here. Everyone I work with knew about my infatuation with you. They used to tease me, calling you my “pretty boy”.” 

Isak’s blush is now all the way down to his toes. He can’t believe he never noticed. 

“When I saw you at that party I could hardly believe my luck. I thought that I had lost you ever since you stopped coming into the coffee shop. And when you followed me into the room I swear I started believing in fate.”

“I don’t think that was fate. More likely the excessive amounts of alcohol and weed.” Isak smirks, trying to find his footing again. 

They end up talking and flirting for a while longer until Isak’s phone, which he has been doing a great job of ignoring, is being bombarded with notifications, and it can’t be ignored anymore. Some from the group chat, some from Jonas, wondering why Isak is ignoring the group chat, a few from his mom and a million from Eskild, demanding that he gets home to help clean the apartment. 

“I need to go back, Eskild wants me to clean the bathroom or some other shit.” He doesn’t want to leave this comfortable bubble that they have, but all good things must come to an end obviously. 

“Want me to walk you home?” Even asks.

Happy for any excuse to spend more time together, Isak gladly accepts, and he waits for Even to gather his things and say goodbye to his coworkers.


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I think…” he starts, “I think I want to spend more time with you, get to know you.”

It is snowing heavily when they get outside, the first snow this season. It is not the easy, drizzly kind, the kind that barely covers the ground and just gives you a hint that something good is on its way. No, this is the big statement kind of snow, with huge snowflakes, falling fast, and it has already managed to cover the ground with at least ten centimeters of heavy, wet snow. It is too early in the season to expect it to last, it will probably be gone in a few days, leaving only patches of ice to slip on and get hurt, but Isak kind of loves it anyway, even if he's shoes get wet and his feet are cold and he forgot his gloves. 

It is already dark outside, and the cold air and the snow makes Isak shiver, pulling his coat tighter around him to keep him warm. Even removes his scarf and bundles it around Isak’s neck, and the gesture makes the butterflies reappear in his stomach. It makes him appreciate how much Even cares, he is so much more than the guy he accidentally (or maybe not so accidentally) made out with at a stupid high school party. 

He slows down for a second and looks up at Even, contemplating how he is going to ask him something that has been on his mind since Even told him, without upsetting him. “Even? Can I ask you a question? About what you told me in there, I mean about your bipolar?”

“Sure.” Even shrugs, making it seem like it’s no big deal, although it is. 

“Wikipedia talked about the highs and lows, but could you tell me about how it is for you? You don’t have to if you don’t want to, I know it is a very personal question.”

Even is silent for a little while, thinking about what to say and how to say it. 

“Sometimes,” he says, “I get these highs, the mania, where the world and my thoughts feel like it’s moving really fast, and everything is great and everything is possible. And when it gets really bad I can start to lose touch with reality. And then sometimes, everything is exactly the opposite, everything is dark and it feels like I’ll never move again and it can be hard to remember why I’m supposed to be alive. But most of the time, I am like everyone else, and happy is just happy and sad is just sad.”

He looks at Isak with a searching look as if trying to gauge his reaction. 

“Do you get them a lot? They highs and lows, I mean?” 

“It varies. I have had two big episodes the last two years, but I have been fine for the last six months. There are ways to manage it, make it less frequent and not so dramatic when it does happen, dampen the effect so to speak.”

“Like what?”

“Medication. Therapy. Not drinking too much. Getting enough sleep. It got easier once I accepted it, stopped fighting it.”

“That’s good.” Isak can only imagine how hard it must have been for him. 

“Yeah. Wasn’t easy, though. But last year I had a pretty bad episode, and afterwards I realized that this thing was not going to go away, and that I had to start taking responsibility for it and taking it seriously. Because ignoring it was not the answer, it kept making it worse.”

“I get that.” And he really does, he himself being the master of ignoring problems, making them only bigger, not smaller. 

“Soooo, what happens now?” He asks with anxiety taking form of a lump in his throat as they stand outside his apartment building. 

Even looks at him with a quizzical look. “I don’t know. What do you want to happen now?”

“I think…” he starts, “I think I want to spend more time with you, get to know you.”

“I want that too. But we don’t have to rush anything. We can take this as fast or as slow as you like.”

Relief is written all over Isak’s face. “Thank you. I just don’t know if I am ready for the entire school to know about this. The rumor mill is vicious, as you might have noticed.” He says the last part with a small laughter, between the two of them, they sure made the gossip girls work for it last month. 

“Yeah, I have had my fair share of that lately. But maybe we could do something after school this week? I could come over and hang at your place? Or you could come to mine, if you’re not ready for me to meet your roommates?”

“Eskild already knows about you, actually,” Isak admits, causing Even to break out in a huge smile. 

“You have told him about me?” Even’s face could easily compete with the sun right now. 

“Yeah. He kind of figured out last week. But he can be a bit too much at times, so maybe your place is better. I’m afraid he would never leave us alone, he is not always the best with boundaries.”

“We can go to my place, no problem. I have it all to myself on Tuesday, wanna come over then? Saves you from meeting my parents, I guess they can be as curious as Eskild, if not worse.”

“I’d love to.” He must admit the thought of having to meet the parents scares him a little, he is not ready to take it to that level just yet. 

“Good. I’ll text you the details. Or maybe we could leave together after school?” 

Isak panics a little at that, and Even is quick to pick up on it. “Or maybe meeting at the tram stop is safer?”

“Yeah, we could do that.” Isak sighs with relief. 

Even pulls him into a hug before he lets him go. Isak gets a feeling of deja vu when he unlocks his door, casting one last look at Even before he leaves. 

He can hear the familiar sound of a notification on his phone already before he enters the apartment and he reads the message as he closes the front door. 

Even <3

Thank you for today.  
Can’t wait for it to be Tuesday.  
<3

Me neither  
<3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For the record, I don't share Isak's view on the snow-thing. It may because we got even more snow these last few days, and I really should be outside shoveling snow instead of sitting inside drinking coffee and writing. But I don't want to. It's cold and wet and too much of it.


	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Yes, we hug now! Do you have something against hugging?”
> 
> “No, not at all. I am a big fan of hugging.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I got a question on the last chapter that made me think about my story and the storyline. The question was about the fact that even though the story started with a hook-up I have let my characters continue their relation with a great more care, and my reader asked whether this was a conscious choice or not. 
> 
> And it was in fact my intention. When the story started, Isak was very much in the closet and in denial, and he would never ever have hooked up with a boy if it wasn’t for the fact that he was both drunk and high. Afterwards he is really struggling with both the fact that he hooked up with a boy and then that said boy goes to the same school as him. It is therefore not strange that he is careful and wary when around Even and needs time to open up. Even could have chosen to push Isak, to force a reaction out of him, but he is smart enough to know that it would have been counterproductive.
> 
> I don’t find it unlikely that boys, especially teenage boys, want to take things as slow as they do in this story. The notion that all boys are sure of themselves and ready for action at any time is a dangerous path to take. They can be just as insecure as girls, and I hate it when we put labels on what boys and girls are allowed to feel and think. Not that I say that the question I got said or indicated this, but that is what spurred my thinking. 
> 
> With that being said, it did make me question my next chapter, and I ended up making some changes to it, to speed things up between the boys. I hope you enjoy, this is as close to smut as you’ll ever see me write.

It’s a happy Isak that enters school on Monday, and the boys notice it straight away. Past Isak would be grumpy as hell, Mondays are not his favorite day, not by a long shot. Present Isak even manages to smile genuinely at them. Jonas knows immediately that something is up, and casually starts teasing him, but he shuts up for the time being after Isak sends him a look that could kill. But not even the teasing from the boys or the massive amount of work piled upon him from his teacher manages to dampen his mood one tiny fraction. Not when his mind is 90% filled with thought of Even. By lunchtime the boys have guessed something is up, he is spending more time staring at his phone than actually engaging in the conversation, and there is no use pretending anymore, so he lets them in on what has happened and on the plans for hanging with Even the next day. 

He counts the minutes until it is Tuesday afternoon and in the meantime he fills the time by sending an endless amount of texts to Even and receiving an equal number of texts back. For every new message, he can feel himself falling more and more for Even. He is so funny and kind and smart. 

Magnus almost convinces the boys to follow Isak to the tram stop when school is over on Tuesday, but thankfully Jonas manages to talk some sense into him. That would have been extremely embarrassing, being followed by his friends to meet his date or whatever he should call it. 

Even is already waiting for him at the tram stop, and his face lights up when he sees Isak, and pulls him into a big hug. 

“So, we hug now?” Isak just laughs, easily accepting the hug, even though they are not far from Nissen and people could see.

“Yes, we hug now! Do you have something against hugging?” 

“No, not at all. I am a big fan of hugging.” He doesn’t mention that he is a big fan of more than hugging, it is probably too early for that. Or, then again, they did start this thing with way more than hugging, but that was drunk (and horny) Isak. Before he can spend more time on this train of thought the tram arrives and they jump on. 

They decide to pick up pizza on the way there, neither of them is in the mood for cooking, even though Even tries to convince Isak that he makes the best cheese toasts ever. They spend at least 20 minutes bickering about which topping to choose for the pizza, in the end Even caves and lets Isak decide, and then spends the entire time eating complaining about Isak’s choice, to which Isak only rolls his eyes. 

Isak manages to persuade Even to do their homework after they have eaten, and Even lets him with the condition that he gets to choose the movie afterwards and after some serious teasing about being a nerd. They sit on the floor in Evens room, Isak with his books spread out covering most of the floor and Even pretending to do some work on his computer. Isak suspects he doesn’t do much actual work, because every time he looks up he finds Even staring at him. In the end he gives up on getting more work done, and stuffs everything back in his backpack, and Even jumps up immediately to get the movie ready. 

He of course chooses the cheesiest movie possible, causing another eye roll from Isak. But in the end, it doesn’t matter. The movie is not exactly his favorite, but Even entertains him with fun commentary throughout, it is obvious that this is not the first time he watches this movie. Half way through the movie Even moves closer and closer, and Isak finally lets his head rest on Even’s shoulder. Even takes the opportunity to put his arm around Isak, making Isak’s heart rate speed up considerably. He could listen to Even talk like that for hours, and he revels in the closeness and intimacy between them. He’d had no idea it could be like this, be this easy, this nice.

He looks up at Even, and takes him in, all of him, from his blue eyes and his sexy hair to his gorgeous lips and Isak just thinks “fuck slow”, and leans in and kisses him. If Even is surprised by this sudden change of pace he doesn’t let it show, instead he answers back by intensifying the kiss, deepening it. Isak soon discovers that it is a bit uncomfortable kissing in the position they are sitting and without even breaking the kiss he moves to sit on Evens lap, knees on each side of Even’s thighs. The new angle is wonderful, and he leans in, reveling in the feeling of Even’s warm body. His hands move up to behind Even’s neck, playing with his hair and he can feel Even’s hands doing their own kind of exploring, moving underneath his t-shirt and the feeling of hands on naked skin makes him gasp into the kiss. 

They keep on kissing and exploring and things get rather heated pretty fast, and Isak completely forgets about anything other than how good this is and that he wants more. Much more. 

All of a sudden Even breaks the kiss, lips all swollen and pupils blown. “If we don’t stop now my parents will be walking in on us. I’m not sure that is the first impression you want them to have?”

Isak is quick to get off his lap, not even a tiny bit embarrassed by the obvious boner he is sporting, but not ready to meet Even’s parents either. 

“Come on, I’ll walk you home.” Even gets up, and grabs Isak’s hand, pulling him up and straight into a new kiss. Seems like now that they have started it is pretty difficult to stop, but in the end they manage to stop long enough to put on shoes and clothes and leave the apartment. 

They don’t talk much on the way home, but the silence isn’t uncomfortable anymore like it was before, it feels natural, free. Their hands keep brushing, and without thinking about what he’s doing he takes Even’s hand and laces their fingers together, not caring that they are outside where people can see them. Even looks down at their joined hands, and back at Isak, and fastens his grip. This is it, Isak thinks. This is the defining moment. This is more than hooking up at a party, this is about getting to know each other, starting to like the person behind the mask, behind the fancy hair and beautiful eyes.

“Soooo,” he says, lingering outside the door, not ready for the day to be over. “I was thinking that maybe you wanted to have lunch with me and the boys tomorrow? I mean, sit with us?”

“Really? You want that?” Even’s voice is a mixture of exited and apprehensive. Like he really wants it, but is unsure if that is what Isak really wants.

“Yeah, they have been nagging me for the last few days about meeting you. And I want you to meet them.” He reaches for the hand currently not holding Isak’s, and drags Even a little bit closer, trying to steal some of his warmth. Or maybe just trying to be closer to him, missing the feeling of his body against his. “I think they would like you, and that you would like them.”

“I already know I will like them.” Even states it like it’s a well-known fact.

“Yeah?”

“They like you, and I like you. Of course, I’ll like them.”

“You like me?” He says it with a glint in his eyes, obviously knowing the answer to that. 

“Yes, I like you. I really, really like you.”

“I like you, too.” It comes off as almost a whisper, but it is there. 

Even leans in, closes the small space of air that was between them and kisses him again, moving so close that there is no space at all between them, pushing his leg in between Isak’s, putting pressure right where it matters most. They don’t stop kissing until they hear someone clearing their throat behind them, and when Isak looks up he sees Eskild standing there, trying to look stern but the grin on his face ruining the effect. 

“I am guessing you’re Even? I am Eskild, Isak’s roommate.” Even laughs and shakes Eskild’s hand, as Isak tries to hide his embarrassment by burying his face in Even’s neck. 

“Well, I’ll leave you two lovebirds alone. We’ll talk more when you come in, Isak!” Eskild gives Isak a pointed look before leaving them alone.

Isak groans, while Even is still laughing, Isak is not sure if it is about Eskild's comment or Isak's embarrassment, probably both. “So, that was your roommate?”

“Yeah, that was Eskild. I better go in and talk to him before he dies of curiosity. He is way too invested in this.” 

Even gives him one more kiss, which ends up in three more, before Isak manages to peel himself off of him. 

“See you tomorrow?”

“Definitely. Sleep well, pretty boy.” Even sneaks in one more kiss before he leaves, and Isak brazes himself to face the inquisition.


	16. Chapter 16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Isak talks to Eskild after getting caught making out with Even outside.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am sorry for the delay in posting. I have had a crazy busy week at work, and my head has been spinning and I have hardly been able to concentrate on anything when I gotten home at night. 
> 
> My plan is to finish this fic soon, probably two more chapters coming out, in addition to this.

Eskild is waiting right inside the door when he comes in, and all but drags him into the kitchen and sits Isak down on one of the chairs while getting the tea ready. Without a doubt time to talk, whether Isak is ready or not. He might not admit it, but Isak has come to appreciate Eskild more and more, he has become that constant in his life that he hasn’t had for a while. Who would have thought that less than six months ago when Isak’s life was a complete mess and he was drunk at a gay bar at 2 AM. He still doesn’t understand how on earth he managed to get into that place and be served alcohol, obviously underage. Both the bartender and the bouncer must have been either blind or stupid. Thank god that it was Eskild who found him, and not some creep. That thought keeps coming back, making him slightly nauseous when he thinks back, so he tries his best to suppress it. 

“So, I am guessing from that little display outside that you two are on again? Has he broken up with his girlfriend, then? For real this time?” Eskild gets straight down to business. 

“Yeah, we are on again.” Isak says it with a huge smile on his face, totally unable to hide how happy he is. “And the girlfriend-thing is totally over, turns out it was a huge misunderstanding. It was me making more out of it than it was. They broke up right after we met many weeks ago.”

Eskild gives him the now very famous “I told you so”-look, and Isak doesn’t even try to react to it. He knows Eskild was right, and he is willing to give him this. “Yeah, I know, you were right, I was wrong.”

“Can you please repeat that? I didn’t hear you clearly? You were saying something about me being what now?” Eskild is practically gloating. 

“Eskild!” Isak gives him a warning look, and Eskild grins, but lets it go. “And have you two…”

“Eskild! Please tell me you didn’t just ask me that.” Isak is horrified, so not ready to discuss his sex-life with him. 

Eskild puts his hands in the air. “Ok, ok, I am not going to push you any further. Tonight. But you know you can always come to me if you have any questions? Right?”

“Yes, Eskild. I know. And I promise I’ll talk to you if or when I need it. Ok?”

Eskild agrees with a nod and a knowing smile. 

“And promise me you won’t make it weird or anything, please?” Isak practically begs. 

“I promise. We have all been there, remember that.”

“Thank you!”

They finish the rest of their tea in silence. Isak can feel tiredness coming over him, but there is one more thing he wants to discuss before they go to bed.

“Eskild? I was wondering something…” he starts, and Eskild keeps silent, just nudging for Isak to continue with his eyes. “Like, you know about me. And the guys know. But I haven’t told anyone else yet.”

Eskild contemplates this for a second. “And you want to know how you come out, like at school?” 

“Yes, kind of? It’s like it matters a lot and not matters at all at the same time? Like, I don’t really care if people know, but I don’t want to make a big deal out of it either.”

“Coming out is never easy, Isak. But you have been brave to do it to me and to the boys. And none of us cared, right?”

And he knows Eskild is right, they had been extremely easygoing with it. “Yeah, but it is different with the rest. The rumors at school. What if everything changes?”

“Then let it change. But it won’t change you. You will still be grumpy, cute, smart and smartass Isak, right? Gay or not gay doesn’t define you, it is just a part of who you are.”

Eskild is using the same words that he said to Even when he told about being bipolar. And he is right. He will be the same, and the boys will be the same. 

“But take your time, there is no need to rush it. Just do it in a way that is comfortable for you. And I am sure Even will understand if you are not ready to show him off yet, don’t you think?”

Eskild takes the tea mugs and puts them in the sink. “It’s late. We can talk more about this tomorrow or another day, ok?” 

Isak surprises both himself and Eskild by giving Eskild a hug. “Thank you, Eskild!” 

And whether it was the tea or the talk that did the trick doesn’t really matter, but Isak sleeps better than he has for a long time that night.


	17. Chapter 17

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Even meets the boys and things heat up later on that day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's my lucky day, I got the entire house to myself for a few glorious hours, giving me the opportunity to finish the next chapter. (I probably should have been doing more productive things like the laundry or cleaning the bathroom, but, oh well. Oooops?)
> 
> This one is a bit longer, I could have split it in two, but ended up keeping as is. I'm guessing you won't mind.

Isak has tried his best to prep his friends on the situation with Even before lunch the next day. They are not allowed to ask about their relationship status and absolutely not allowed to give anyone at school the impression that Even and him are more than friends. Still, he is so, so nervous, and half way regretting asking Even to join them for lunch. Sometimes he wishes he could keep these two worlds separate, but he knows that is wishful thinking, given that they all go to the same school. 

When Even comes over to their table Isak is a bundle of nerves combined with an intense happiness from seeing Even again. 

“Guys, this is Even. Even, this is the guys.” 

Even briefly shakes hands with the boys, and sits down, close enough to Isak to be able for their legs to touch under the table, but far enough from him to keep up the pretense that they are just friends. The boys seem to suddenly have lost their ability speak, because it is deadly silent around the table, and Isak is staring down on his hands, his nerves firing on all cylinders again. Man, this was a bad idea. 

But it’s like Even doesn’t notice. “So, what were you discussing before I came? Nothing bad about me, I hope?”

Isak is grateful for Even trying to ease the awkwardness surrounding the table, but that was not the right question, because they had of course been discussing the Even-situation.

“Oh, we were just discussing how Isak managed to snatch such a hottie.” 

If looks could kill, Jonas would be lying on the floor needing CPR right now, and Isak’s embarrassment reaches a completely new level. If he could bury his head in his hands without drawing too much attention, he would. He settles for kicking Jonas under the table.

Even bumps his shoulder against Isak’s, fully aware of Isak’s discomfort. “Well, have you seen him? He is gorgeous.” Not really helping. 

Magnus squeals. “Are you talking about Isak? Our Isak?” Earning himself a swift kick under the table as well, but he does not let that deter him. “Isak has been a bit sketchy about the details of how you to hooked up. Was it completely random?”

“I actually knew who he was way before the party, but he hadn’t noticed me.” Even continues to tell the story about how Isak used to come to the coffee shop he’s working at, but how Isak had been so focused on his work that he never noticed Even. 

Isak finally looks up, ending the staring contest that he has been having with his food, and is met with three pairs of disbelieving eyes and Jonas shaking his head with something close to laughter. “Wait, what? How could you not notice him? Were you blind?” 

Mahdi decides to give his two cents to the endless mortify Isak-situation happening. “You know how he gets when he is focused on something; he becomes deaf and blind to anything around him. Remember the time when the fire alarm went off while he was working on a Norwegian essay?”

Jonas high fives him. “Yeah, the firefighters didn’t know whether to be impressed by his focus or mad at him for not leaving the building.”

“Or last year, when this girl tried to get his attention, but he was completely unaware, because he had his head buried in a physics book? Or was it chemistry?” Why Mahdi decided to continue the make fun of Isak-party is beyond him, but here he was. 

“It was English, actually,” he mutters. “And I did notice her, I was purposefully ignoring her.”

“But she was so hot, man!” Magnus says it with a voice slightly too loud, and Isak looks up, nervous about anyone hearing him, but it seems like they are in the clear. 

“Magnus! Did you forget that I am not interested in girls?” Isak rolls his eyes, this conversation needs to stop, like right now, and he looks at Jonas, begging for help, but he just replies with a shrug. 

Besides, there is no stopping Magnus once he is on a roll. “But that is now, this was a year ago.”

“I’ve always been gay, you know. It is not like I woke up a month ago suddenly deciding I was going to try the gay-thing. I have never been interested in girls.” He can hear Even trying to suppress his laughter, and he earns himself a kick in the shins for that. 

Magnus does not let Isak’s foul mood deter him, and moves his attention to Even. “What about you, Even? Are you gay too?”

“Magnus!” Isak hisses. “You can’t ask him that!”

“Actually, I am pan.” Even says it like it is not a big thing, and Isak is amazed at how calm he is. 

“Isn’t pan when you like someone regardless of their gender?” Mahdi knows what pan is? 

“So, are you two an item now? Like boyfriends?” Magus’ question was directed at Even, but Isak interrupts before he has time to reply. 

“Magnus!?! Remember what we talked about earlier?” 

“Yes, you said not to ask about… Ohh, yeah, sorry.” 

Isak shakes his head, not wanting to believe how off the rails this meeting went, but apparently Even is totally unfazed by it. “Well, I know what I want, but I haven’t asked Isak what he wants yet, so I’ll guess we’ll just have to wait and see.”

Isak is speechless; he can’t believe this is happening. He had left very clear instructions to his friends, and they (mostly Magnus) completely ignored it anyway. Time to break up the party, lunch is almost over anyway. 

“Well, this was fun,” he says with the most sarcastic tone he can muster. “But I have to get to class now. See you later?” The last part directed at Even, earning him another cheer from the boys. He practically stomps out of the cafeteria. Never have a lunch break felt this long. 

He meets up with Even outside of school after his last class. They are going in the same direction and taking different trams just to avoid gossip would be plain stupid, so they decided it would be normal for them to go together. At least that is what he is telling himself. 

“Thank you for being so nice to my obnoxious friends during lunch.” 

“No problem, they were fun. Seems like you are really close. And Magnus is fun.”

Isak snorts. Fun is not the first word that comes to mind when he thinks about the disastrous lunch. “Magnus can be a giant pain in the ass, but he is nice. He is loyal to the bone when he is not busy putting his foot in his mouth.”

On the tram Even tries to pry out of him more details about the fire alarm incident, but Isak won’t budge. He had been the laughing stock amongst his friends for almost two months afterwards. He was not about to open that box up again. 

They are almost at Isak’s tram stop, and although Even theoretically can stay on for two more stops, he chooses to hop off when Isak does. They walk slowly, approaching the crossing where they need to part. Isak is not willing to let Even go yet, it’s like when you first get a taste of something good you never want to let it go. 

“Want to come back to my place?” He does not know why he feels so nervous asking Even this, but he is. Maybe because he knows it would possible mean continuing what they started the day before. 

“Can’t today.” Even’s response is swift and disappointing, although Isak tries to hide it as well as possible. 

“Oh, that’s ok. Maybe another time?” He looks at Even, with hope in his eyes. 

Even stops and draws him closer, holding him tight, like he is sensing Isak’s disappointment. “It is not that I don’t want to, I really do. It is just that we have mandatory family dinner every Wednesday. There is no valid excuse for missing it, unless you are really sick or travelling. But I can come over after? Maybe… Maybe I could spend the night? If that is okay with you? I don’t know if you have rules about that?”

“No rules, at least not that I know of. Eskild keeps bringing guys over all the time, so he would be a hypocrite to tell me I can’t. But I have never tested that theory.” Might as well be open with these things with Even, although he heavily suspects that Even already knows about his inexperience. 

Even smiles and hugs him, message clearly received. “Ok, then. I will come over after dinner then. It will probably not be until 9 PM or something, is that OK with you? Not too late?”

“No, it’s perfect. Gives me time to clean up my room first,” he says, trying to make a joke of it, but it came out more truthfully than he planned to. His room is normally not that much of a mess, he has gotten used to living by himself and taking responsibility for cleaning and laundry, but lately his mind has been kinda occupied with other things (Even mostly). 

Even gives him a kiss goodbye and leaves a dizzy Isak to walk home by himself, and he still feels like he is floating when he gets home. He cleans his room in a hurry and puts on a load of laundry. Eskild comes home while he is vacuuming the floor.

“Are you expecting a visitor, maybe?”

“Even is coming over later, that’s ok, right?” Isak is suddenly unsure if this is something he should have run by Eskild, considering it is kind of his place. 

“Of course it is ok. Isak, you don’t need my permission to have your boyfriend over. Just make sure to be safe, ok? And remind me to thank Even next time I see him, your room hasn’t been this clean in months.” He turns and walks out of the room, clearly happy with his joke. 

“Eskild! You will do no such thing! Eskild.” He shouts out, but it’s too late, Eskild has already long gone. 

By 9 PM, Isak has cleaned his room, managed to catch up on all of his homework and then some, and then googled the heck out of “gay sex”. It is not like he hasn’t done that before, but now it feels way more likely to actual happen and he wants to be prepared, but the googling does nothing to settle his nerves or excitement. 

When Even finally knocks on the door he is quick to open, making sure he is the one to open the door, not Eskild. Even is standing there, looking better than ever, raising his eyebrows and greeting him with the now familiar “halla”. 

And Isak can’t help himself, he needs to kiss him. It’s the only way to get over his nervousness. It doesn’t seem that Even has anything against kissing by the way he responds, and they kiss the entire way back to Isak’s room, oblivious to anything else, like Eskild looking at them from the door leading into the living room, with a fond expression on his face. 

When the door is closed behind them Even briefly pulls away befor taking Isak’s hand and pulling him down on the bed. Isak immediately leans in to kiss more, but Even stops him.

“Wow, baby, I am excited to see you too, but maybe we should talk about this first?”

Suddenly Isak gets nervous again, losing all the resolve he has had. Talking may be smart, but it is not a concept he is all too happy with right now. “Talk about what?”

“About how far we want to go right now, about what you are comfortable with, we don’t have to do anything you are not ready to do. If kissing and cuddling is all you want, then we kiss and cuddle.”

Isak thinks he will be more comfortable actual having sex than talking about it, but it seems like that is not happening. “I don’t know what I am comfortable with; the furthest I have gone with a boy is with you…” He is hiding his face and his blush in Even’s shoulder and Even lets him. “I like kissing you,” he continues. “Like a lot. Can’t we just start with kissing and see where we end up?” 

Even leans over and replies by kissing him softly. “We can do that. And maybe I can blow you again, like last time, if you’ll like.” He says the last part with a smirk, clearly remembering how much Isak liked it the last time. 

“Yeah, that is totally ok with me,” Isak whispers back. 

Even takes no time pushing Isak over on his back and starts kissing, in the beginning it is soft but soon the kisses are more demanding, and both sets of hands start exploring soft skin, and their clothes soon ends up in a big pile on the floor. Isak gets his blowjob, and decides that this is the best thing he has ever experienced, even better than last time, because now there are feelings involved, not just him riding high on weed and teenage hormones. 

Afterwards they lie in bed, Isak on his side resting his head on Even’s arm, they are cuddling and talking about everything, small and big, while Isak is letting his hand play with the soft skin on Even’s stomach and Even is playing with Isak’s curls. 

“My parents want to meet you, by the way.” Even turns his head and looks at Isak.

“You’ve told them about me?” He is honestly a bit shocked, but happy at the same time. Happy that he means so much to Even that he has told his parents about him.

“Of course I have told them. I told them about you right after I broke up with Sonja. They know all about how head over heels I am with you. They say they want to meet the boy I have been yapping about nonstop the last weeks. But you don’t have to yet, not until you are ready. I still mean it, we can take this as fast or as slow as you like.” Even’s honesty is doing things to Isak. Making him soft all over, needing to be even closer to Even. 

“Yeah, about that, we’re not really nailing the whole taking it slow-part.” Isak giggles. “I’d love to meet your parents, but I don’t think I am ready, not right now. And I am still not ready to be completely open at school. Is that ok?”

Even leans over and gives him the softest kiss. “As long as you’ll be my boyfriend, I don’t care how slow we take things.”

Isak nuzzles closer. “I can do that. Be your boyfriend. I’d love to be your boyfriend.”


	18. Chapter 18

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Isak accidentally comes out at school and schools someone about what's ok and not ok to question.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Almost finished with this story, just a very short chapter in addition to this one. It has grown larger than I intended, and I really appreciate the nice questions and comments that I have gotten, that have steered the story in another direction than I had initially planned and in that way made it better.

Turns out that coming out at school is exactly as dramatic as he had feared, and at the same time not a big deal at all. They have taken their time doing it, but not really trying to hide what they have. It is eating lunch with the boys, meeting up after the last class of the day and walking home together. It is movie-dates and stay-home-and-cuddle-dates, sneaking off together between classes to kiss in empty classrooms. After Even stayed over the first time it doesn’t take long before Even starts spending the night more and more and they walk together to school almost every day.

Even have met Isak’s roommates and Eskild had fallen in love with him instantly and followed up by giving Isak the weirdest gay-sex-talk in history, Isak had blushed all the way through, praying it would be over soon. But it had also been nice, in all its weirdness, it wasn’t a talk he would ever had with his parents. In fact, he had yet to tell them about the newfound boyfriend-situation. 

The quietness of it ends with a bang a few weeks later when they one day completely forget they are holding hands walking into the school yard, casually strolling over to where the boys are standing. It dawns on them that something is different when they are met with Magnus’ exited, and rather loud, squeal and Jonas high five, congratulating them on finally being out. Even looks at Isak, to gauge his reaction and trying to find out how freaked Isak is, but he only shrugs and announces that it is about time they told everyone anyway.

Two hours later Emma corners him at his locker, and he is half expecting it, but still dreading it. 

“So, you’re gay now?” She looks like she’s pretty mad at him, but for what reason he isn’t exactly sure. 

Isak pops the locker open on the first try, pulls the books he needs for next class before looking at her, making sure he has her full attention before speaking. “Why you are asking me that? You know it is kind of rude questioning someone’s sexuality like that.”

“But, I saw you. With Even. The entire school saw you. Holding hands, like you are boyfriends or something.”

He gives her an exasperated look, feeling annoyed by her mere presence. “I’m with Even, yes. But that doesn’t necessarily mean I’m gay, you know. And it sure as hell doesn’t give you the right to question me about it.”

“But you…” Emma stammers, trying to come up with a good comeback. “But you let me think that you were interested in me!”

“Look, I’m sorry I didn’t tell you straight up in the beginning of the semester that I wasn’t interested, which is my bad. But I never led you on, never gave you any reason to believe I was interested in you. That was all you and your imagination. You do not get to be angry at me for this and you do not get to talk behind my back, saying this is somehow my fault. Grow up, Emma!” 

He closes his locker with a thud, and just turns around and leaves her, vowing never to speak to her ever again. 

The rest of the day passes in a haze. He can hear the whispers and feel the looks sent his way but no one else has the guts to say anything to him, maybe the speak he gave Emma cooled down the rumors. Either way, many of the looks are more curious than mean. And the few times not so nice looks are sent his way, one of his boys are ready with a glare of their own, and he is sorry he ever doubted them having his back. 

When he comes home Eskild is in the middle of cooking something vaguely resembling dinner. Isak is not completely sure whether it is actual food or not, but beggars can’t be choosers, so when Eskild offers to share his food with him he gladly accepts. He takes the first apprehensive bite, nervous about how bad it can possibly be, but is pleasantly surprised when he discovers the taste decent, it tastes much better than it looks. 

“Did you like it?” Eskild point his fork at Isak’s food, obviously hinting for some praise on his cooking. 

“Yes, it is really good. But I am not quite sure what it is that I am eating. Care to give me any hint?”

“It is chicken curry. A colleague of mine recently went to this fancy Indian cooking class and he gave me this recipe. I had to improvise a bit, because I didn’t have all the fancy spices, but I think it turned out OK anyway.” And then he jumps up. “Oh, I forgot. I bought Naan-bread also, it is supposed to be perfect for this kind of food.”

While they eat, Eskild keeps rambling about something one of the guys from work did. Apparently one of the customers was extremely rude to one of the other customers, calling him names that Eskild swears he will never repeat, and then the rude guy got thrown, literally, out of the coffee shop and almost landed on his back. 

“Eskild?” Isak tries to get his attention. 

“Yes, my sweet prodigy?” Eskild’s voice is sweet and teasing, knowing precisely what kind of reaction he’ll provoke and loving it. 

“Ugh, don’t call me that!” Isak rolls his eyes, knowing full well he will never succeed in getting Eskild to stop calling him names like “sweet prodigy”, “baby gay” and “son”, but it might be worth the effort either way. “I kinda accidentally came out at school today.”

“You accidentally came out? Did someone force you out? Are you OK? Do I need to beat someone up for you?” Eskild looks like he is actually ready to fight someone, halfway up in his chair. 

“No, no, no, nothing like that. And yes, I’m ok. More than ok, I think. It’s just. Like. Even and I were walking to school today, and he held my hand like he always does, but today I kinda forgot to let go of his hand at the tram stop, and we walked hand in hand into the school yard. And everyone saw it, obviously.”

Eskild’s facial expression is priceless. He is a mixture of confused and so, so proud. 

“But wait a second… Isak, it is not like you to forget something like that. Did you really forget, or did you ignore it on purpose?” He looks directly at Isak, like he is trying to force the answer out of him. 

“Most the last part, I think.” Isak seems surprised. “I have been sort of wanting to do it for a little while now, but I didn’t want it to be this huge thing, like me announcing to the entire school on Insta or something. This way I could sort of just sneak it in.”

Eskild laughs at the typical Isak way to do it. “And it worked? And people have been nice?”

“It worked perfectly. By lunchtime the entire school knew, but hardly anyone said anything. A few weird looks, but fewer than I would have guessed.”

Eskild nods in approval. “But no comments?”

Isak winces at the thought of Emma’s confrontation. “Well, one of the first years, remember the one I told you about, the clingy one? She came over to me and was so pissed that I hadn’t told her, and asked if it meant that I was gay now.”

“Noooo, she didn’t!” Eskild is clearly shocked. Gay rights and gay’s right to keep their sexuality to themselves has always been one of Eskild’s pet peeves. Everyone has the right to be as openly or as closed with his or hers sexuality as they please, and no one is allowed to force anyone out of the closet. Isak has heard his rants on more than one occasions. “What did you tell her? Please, pretty please tell me you lectured her?” 

Isak puts up his proudest face, his grin almost too big for his face. “Hell yes, I lectured her. I told her I was sorry I never explicitly told her I wasn’t interested, but other than that this was all on her. And that she had no right to ask me about my sexuality, and that doing so was actually pretty rude.”

Eskild high fives him, and proceeds to give him a big hug. “Oh, baby gay, I am so proud of you, you are all grown up.”

And if Isak hadn’t known any better, he would have thought he saw tears in Eskild’s eyes.


	19. Chapter 19

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Last chapter. It has been sitting, almost finished, on my laptop for almost a week, and I've had some difficulties finishing it and letting the story go. This story started as something small, and ended up completely different from where I intended. It has been fun, frustrating and challenging, but I don't regret it.
> 
> Thank you for lovely comments and kudos. It has been greatly appreciated, each and every one. 
> 
> I will probably take a break from posting, and if I do post something later on it will most likely be in Norwegian.

Isak has been dodging almost every invitation to a party the last months. In the beginning, post first hook up with Even, it was out of pure need for self-preservation, he was afraid he would get too drunk and run into Even and do something monumentally stupid. After they had decided to be boyfriends it had been a choice of convenience, it was so much nicer to stay at home cuddling and having sex on a Saturday night than to go out and get blackout drunk. Sober sex, he had discovered, was way better than drunk sex. 

The only issue was that the boys were claiming they were missing him, and they had been relentless in their pursuit to get him out of the house and to a party and in the end, it was easier to cave in to their wishes than to fight it. Especially Magnus had found it incomprehensible that when they for once had a reliable beer source, they were not even allowed to exploit it. Before Even they had been mostly relying on Eskild to provide them beer, but that always came at a cost, or more precisely Eskild claiming that Isak owed him a favor. It usually ended up with Isak having to do the dishes for a week or cleaning the bathroom, which he did, kicking and screaming throughout the entire thing. But now, now they had Even. Even, who was old enough and nice enough to buy them beer without demanding a favor back. Magnus was claiming there was no excuse worthy of use to not go to a party- 

This is why he finds himself standing at a party, leaning his back on Even’s chest, and with Even’s arms around his waist. They have agreed on not drinking too much, as it is messing with Even’s meds a bit and besides, if they get too drunk sex is probably off the table, and to be honest they are just too horny not to have sex when they get back to Isak’s bed. 

The music is blasting in the living room, making it almost impossible to hold a conversation. But it doesn’t matter, they can have fun without talking. Jonas is busy in a corner, talking to Eva, or more accurate, he is trying to talk to Eva, but Eva is a little too tipsy and Isak is betting on them ending up making out within the next five minutes. Magnus and Mahdi is nowhere to be seen, and Isak is currently questioning why in the world it was so important that he’d come to the party in the first place.

But it’s nice, standing like this, listening to Even humming in his ear and Isak every now and then turning his head to steel a kiss or three. He is just about ask if Even wants to leave when he sees Mahdi and Magnus coming over. 

“Isak! We just realized something. Do you recognize where we are?” Magnus is bouncing, so proud of himself and what he just came up with. 

Where they are? Isak is bewildered. He looks around, trying to figure out why this place is so familiar to him. He knows he’s been here before, he just can’t remember when. 

“You don’t remember?” Isak can feel Even’s deep voice in his ear. “I can give you a hint, if you want.”

A hint would be good, but he is not about to admit to needing one. “You’ve been here before too!” He says it as fact, not a question. And then suddenly it all comes back to him. How could he not have noticed? This is the same house where he met Even the first time. Or maybe technically not the first time, considering they’d had met before without him noticing. But this is where they hooked up the first time. 

He turns around to Even, with a smug grin on his face. “Wanna do it again?”

Even answers by pulling him even closer. “I’d much rather go home and have my fun with you there.” His voice is deep and carrying an intent Isak can’t help responding to. 

“Yeah, let’s do that. Want to have my fun with you as well,” he whispers back. 

Isak leans in and gives his boyfriend a kiss full of promises before taking his hand and get on their way back home. Together. He realizes they’ve come full circle.


End file.
